An oath in the language of a vow
Hello Rabbi,
Following a long struggle to get out of the marriage, I decided some time ago to prevent myself from doing the deed by vowing not to do it. After much effort, I was unable to fulfill my commitment, and I failed again in the aforementioned sin. I deeply regret this, and I would like to ask about the validity of what I did.
When I made the commitment, I said it in the language “I vow not to do so and so.” In retrospect, it became clear to me that it is possible that because my commitment not to do so belongs to an oath, while the language spoken was in the language of a vow, the vow did not apply at all in principle. On the other hand, this is a vow of prohibition that, to the best of my knowledge, has no permissibility, so if the vow really applies, I have no solution to this situation?
In such a case, is it possible to make a vow waiver, or perhaps there is no need at all and the obligation does not apply at all?
Thank you very much.
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I meant the second verse in the Sī’ī Rākhā: “One does not permit a vow of a forbidden word, even if it is only a rabbinical prohibition, such as playing with a dice, and if they permit a vow of a dice, some permit it and some prohibit it.”
In the Shul, another opinion was presented in the name of Rabbi Tuvia that at this time one should permit a vow of a cube because one cannot refrain from it. And the Rāshbā wrote about this in Ch. 7 Sī’ī D that one does not need it, because playing with a dice is a transgression, and if because one’s inclination does not lead one astray, one satisfies one’s inclination, and it is not said that one should throw away a small transgression so that one does not commit a greater transgression.”
And as far as I know, this is also the reason why the content of the vow needs to be detailed, so that they don't come to permit something that leads to prohibition.
And as for the body of your answer, in such a permit, do I have to detail exactly what I vowed to myself, or can I say in general that I vowed not to do a certain thing and now I regret it because I realized that I am unable to comply with it, (and I don't want to continue to risk another opportunity?)
Thank you very much
It is said in the Shulchan Si'a that it is permissible. One should explain this to one of the judges. This is the essence of the permissible.
Thank you very much.
After the confession, a final question regarding the matter: “When I made the vow, I elaborated in long language and multiplied the matters on all the variations of the above acts.” When detailing to the judge, I said the things in a shortened form and detailed what I remembered, the main acts that I forbade myself, but in a way that was not entirely precise as when I made the vow. Is everything permitted in retrospect, or should I go back and present the matters to the judge in exactly the same language that I forbade during the vow?
It's hard to answer without knowing what was omitted in the description. I guess as long as you told the truth it's fine.
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