Dancing at the party

שו”ת › Category: Halacha › Dancing at the party

asked 9 months ago

Hello Rabbi
My wife and I like going to dance parties together. We recently started observing Torah and mitzvot and we would like to ask, is there a halachic problem with this? The answers we have received on this are vague and we would be happy for the rabbi to elaborate on this for us. thanks!

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מיכי Staff answered 9 months ago

A question that is not easy to answer. It is accepted by the poskim that there is a halakhic prohibition on mixed dances. I have not found a clear primary source (Gemara or Torah study or a rule from neighboring Jewish books) that explicitly prohibits this. We did find a prohibition on a woman’s voice, and it is accepted by the poskim that it is only in singing and not in any woman’s voice, and apparently dancing is much more stimulating to the desire. Therefore, on the surface it seems that it is prohibited, although perhaps if there is no forbidden thought resulting from it (sexual arousal) there is no real halakhic prohibition in this. In any case, the custom is to prohibit it and at least from a custom perspective it is not to do so.

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שבתאי replied 9 months ago

But he's with his wife, he can tease and jump around as much as he wants, what could possibly happen?

Yud replied 9 months ago

Sorry for the trouble, but I have to ask, isn't there a custom in the statement that it shouldn't be done - don't add?

מיכי Staff replied 9 months ago

Absolutely not. Every custom according to this is an addition.

דוד ש. replied 9 months ago

To the best of my memory, there is a long topic on the subject of "sons of sons".

י. replied 9 months ago

In my opinion, it depends a lot on the style: Is this ballroom dancing that is intended to arouse desire? And if so, do you dance only with each other and avoid looking at other couples? (Otherwise, it really seems forbidden). Or, alternatively, maybe it's just ”squat dancing” (sorry, I couldn't find a better definition) that just kind of releases energy, “go crazy” and has fun?
To be fair, each case is different. You know whether it strengthens the peace of the home and your mental health or, God forbid, leads to thoughts of transgression. In any case, it is important to avoid looking at other women/men in an immodest manner, because the setbacks that resulted from this in the past were the motivation for Jewish communities around the world to repeatedly amend regulations against mixed dancing (which apparently wasn't very successful at the time, otherwise they wouldn't have had to legislate again and again... In any case, custom depends on the location. As implied by the wording of the question, the couple in question does not belong to a community that practices abstinence, so there is probably no question of breaking the local/community custom here either).

יהודי replied 8 months ago

How do you know this is allowed?