Faith and knowledge regarding the existence of God

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asked 9 years ago

Hello and Happy Holidays, my name is XXX. I am an electrical engineering student at XXX University, and I have a Tshuva.
I turned to Prof. Nadav Schnerb with a rather profound question, and in his helpful answer, he told me to turn to you, and that perhaps you could be of help to me.
I am attaching the email I sent to the above honorable gentleman, to the extent of a few changes that have been added to my thinking over the past two days.
I would be happy if you could be of help to me.
I will tell you briefly about myself. I am in the process of answering a number of questions that began with a study of historical materials (specifically those that are not related to the people of Israel), and from them I came to various conclusions. This continued with Torah study and in-depth investigation, mainly in order to see that there are no logical contradictions in the Torah and the Creator.
All of Maimonides’ writings are a part of my soul, and above all, he teaches the confused. Thanks to Maimonides, I am no longer confused. I have no doubts about Judaism, I have no doubts about the Creator. If this is the case, the fact that I have no doubts about the Creator does not prove His existence.

I will give an example from my worldview, I went to my physics professor and asked him what he thought about string theory (of course my knowledge is basic numbers that touch on the smallest point on the subject, certainly not at an academic level) and he told me that just because it manages to reconcile line theory and relativity well on paper does not mean it is correct as long as it is not proven experimentally. (Just to illustrate the difference
(For me, between non-contradiction and truth.)
I am now in the “to be or to cease” phase of the teshuvah, I don’t have a television, I stay away from women, Torah study is more meaningful, I spend a lot of time in solitude, and I have an absolute desire to cling to my Creator.
As the professor probably understood from the above, I am a slightly different convert, a rationalist. Physics, mathematics, engineering, and philosophy are an inseparable part of me, and then I reached the stage where I want to know whether there is a Creator or not, unequivocally.

After all, what is it to believe that there is a Creator? It is delusion, and I cannot describe myself, living as a person who “believes,” but rather as a person who “knows.” The problem is that not everyone around me thinks that way. I am surrounded by many people who are simply drawn to it, without raising their heads too much and asking or even thinking about “knowing the Creator,” but everything for them is faith.
Subjectivity, this is my big problem. The evil inclination can be nothing more than a biological action in my body, the creation of the world can be irrational, the evil inclination can be nothing more than a person’s psychological desire to find a purpose for his life.

I would like to seek the help of the esteemed Rabbi, the esteemed Professor. I know that no one in this world can show me the existence of the Creator, except for Him. I see nothing that this or that person in the world tells me or shows me that will suddenly make me know my Creator. Therefore, I have begun to increase my personal prayers. I often beg for the concealment to go away, but what happens when there is no answer?
My great pain, that I have no contradictions about Judaism and the Torah, I managed to overcome everything, my love for the Torah grows day by day, and just the thought of returning to being secular hurts me in an unusual way, but as far as I am concerned, there is truth and falsehood, there is no good and evil, there is no subjective belief, there is objective knowledge.
It is important to note that I do not see anything scientific as proof of the existence of the Creator. Arguments like “What a perfect world,” “Look at the perfection in creation,” are not confirmation for me but unnecessary recycling (of course, since it is clear to you that the Creator exists, the point of view is different), but in general for me these are two completely separate schools of thought.

Therefore, I am not addressing you as a rabbinical authority, or as a repentant, or as a physics professor, but as a person with whom I might be able to identify and who could provide good advice on how to get to where I need to go. I must admit that this email was sent as a “weapon of doomsday.” Sending an email to a person I don’t know at all, with such a desperate request for help is not something that suits me, but my desire to reach my goal outweighs that. I would be happy for your help, because for now I am alone in my world.
Thank you very much, Happy holiday,

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מיכי Staff answered 9 years ago

It seems to me that you are mistaken in your distinction between belief and knowledge, and in my opinion the mistake is on both sides of the equation (what is belief and what is knowledge). On the one hand, belief is a synonym for knowledge and nothing else. On the other hand, no knowledge (and therefore also belief) is certain (in any field). Therefore, one can expect at most a high probability, and not certainty and absoluteness. From your short letter, it seems to me that you are a man of black and white, and in my opinion there is a philosophical problem in this (I am not talking about psychology, but philosophy. A black and white view is incorrect and is very confusing). I didn’t understand what you meant by the fact that there is no good or evil, only truth and falsehood. Truth and falsehood are truth values regarding factual statements. Murder, for example, is not judged in terms of truth or falsehood, but in terms of good and evil. I don’t mean to say that the prohibition against murder is subjective, but only that it is not a fact. If you are talking about philosophical proofs for the existence of God and/or the transition from a philosophical God to a religious God, I can send you some notebooks (=files) that I wrote about this, but they are long and I’m not sure you will have the patience to read them in order. It is difficult to answer these questions by email because it is a long and complex discussion. If you wish, we can meet and discuss it. I am sitting in Bar Ilan and we can set up a time on my phone, which is listed below. All the best and happy holidays, Michi —————————————————————————————— Asks: Thank you very much for the answer, and of course thank you very much for the invitation, I would love to meet. But first, I would like to rephrase myself, let’s say more honestly and directly. I am not looking for scientific or philosophical proof of a Creator. I believe that the only one who can take my faith into account is the Creator. And that’s why I’m looking for a person who might have experienced what I’m experiencing now. My situation now is one where intellectual conclusions have brought me to the point where I say there’s a chance there’s a Creator, but it’s just a chance, and I feel that reason can’t take me beyond that, no argument involving reason can bring me closer to the Creator. So I began to act in an aspect that was relatively far from me, emotion, Chassidism is what we call it, I began to isolate myself and simply ask, “And if there is with it the knowledge that this knowledge cannot be replaced under any circumstances, and there is no place to reject this knowledge, nor to suppose an alternative possibility” (Mo’n, Ch’a, P’n’a) A better analysis might be: I am a guy in my twenties who gives up on women, who for several years has given up on his Sabbath, who lost all his friends during the period of repentance (due to the necessity of reality: kosher, modesty, a waste of time), gives up the time of his degree studies (I’m sure you can understand the stress of a degree) in order to arrive at the kollel at 10 at night, and study Gemara until 12, sleeps 5 hours a night to get things done, for years my mind has been busy solving problems related to Judaism in order to pave my way forward (for example, a problem that bothered me a lot, personal choice versus the Creator’s omniscience), etc. And now if I come to the conclusion that my Creator requires me to be gullible (more than I am now), after all this, then it’s hard for me, and I’m gentle in my words.
Now, I am looking for a person who has experienced this mental abyss and can help me understand how to awaken the “mercy” of my Creator. Who realized that he had no other way out of this pit, and I believe that such a person must be an educated person. In any case, I hope I was able to articulate myself better. I would be happy if we met later, and I must express my gratitude again. You have no idea how much I appreciate a busy and respected person like you investing your time in someone you have never met. I don’t take it for granted. Thank you very much and happy holidays. —————————————————————————————— Rabbi: I have experienced the search for certainty myself, but now precisely because of my logistic tendency I am not there. My conclusion from this search is that there is no certainty and there is no possibility of reaching it. I do not believe in Hasidism and religious feeling as an alternative solution. In my opinion, there is no substitute for rational thinking, and even though it does not provide certainty – that is what there is. Part of growing up is understanding that there is no certainty but only probability, even in the realm of faith. Mystical revelations are not my area, and in this I can only wish you luck (with quite a bit of skepticism). In the issue you raised (freedom of will and divine knowledge), in my opinion there is a very simple solution: there is no divine foreknowledge. This is a myth that has no justification and no real source, and it contradicts several cornerstones of Jewish thought and logic in general (mainly freedom of will, of course). By the way, I wrote a book on freedom of will (=Sciences of Freedom), although there I deal mainly with the question of scientific determinism and almost not with theological determinism. In closing, I’ll add that I don’t think you should give up your degree, or your friends, or even your girlfriends, or isolate yourself. It’s definitely worth it and you should study, but in my opinion, extremism is generally not recommended. You need to think and make logical and informed decisions, and it’s usually not right to make commitments. I’d be happy to talk if you’d like. All the best and happy holidays, Michi

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