Marriage to a secular couple
Kiddushin for a secular couple
A bit of a complicated question. I’m trying to help someone: A secular acquaintance contacted me with a complicated question: Several years ago, he and his partner decided to get married. They firmly refused to do so with a formal registration at the rabbinate, but they did want a Jewish wedding “ceremony,”… At the wedding there were: a blessing with a blessing, a ring giving (mutual…) and the saying “You are consecrated,” etc. But the witnesses were two secular friends of the groom. So were most of those present there (there were also some who wore a kippah, like me). Some of the seven blessings were said by women. There was no official ketubah, but a kind of improvised agreement that they made. In the meantime, unfortunately, they decided to separate. Again – not through the rabbinate, as mentioned at the time, they were anti-rabbinical. They simply went their separate ways. Several years have passed and the woman is now living with another partner.
Question: Were they married according to halakhic law?
My friend, the ex-husband, is now interested in remarrying his current partner, but this time they both want to do it in an organized way through the Rabbinate. What should he do? Can they register for marriage, or do they have to take some action first? I understand that this is a complex question, but at this point I will be the mediator and try to guide him according to your advice. I appreciate your advice. Thank you in advance and with blessings,
It is highly doubtful whether they were halachically married. Regarding the witnesses, there is a minority of jurists who accept the testimony of Sabbath desecrators even for kiddushin, but most opinions disqualify them from being witnesses. Giving a mutual ring also invalidates the kiddushin (unless the bride gave a ring later in a different manner).
As an aside, I don’t fully understand the question. If they go to register with the Rabbinate, I assume they will be instructed there on what to do. Don’t they want to find out what happened in the past? So the Rabbinate won’t know anything and nothing will happen. Or did the Jew repent and now want to do the right thing?
First, thank you for the answer. They probably prefer not to tell what happened before so as not to prevent them from registering and getting married religiously. The question, which has a kind of reflection on the answer, is a principled one - is he considered halakhically free and can marry a woman? Or does he need to first go through the divorce process (even though there was no registration and nothing was official..).
In practice, it seems that they will register without referring to history
But if there were religious witnesses, then perhaps it was considered kiddushin and the woman was considered sanctified, and then perhaps she was forbidden to marry another man, and if she lived with another man then she was forbidden by the first husband. It is best to check this with a beit din or a reputable rabbi who will tell them what the halakha is in this situation.
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