Pre-wedding touch
Hello Rabbi,
Lately I’ve been hearing and sharing the problem with keeping in touch before the wedding.
We’re talking about a situation where both parties have already made up their minds to get married (before engagement) before even touching, and then maintaining contact afterwards creates distance and distance, something I’ve seen several times that led to a breakup not only because of this but contributed a significant part to the atmosphere. In the end, most people don’t manage to maintain contact [we’re talking about light contact (leaning, hugging, kissing)].
The question is whether there is a place to allow couples to touch lightly (and if not, then add to the equation that it is in a place where there is no concern for privacy)
I don’t think so. If it causes distance, then they probably aren’t close enough anyway.
I disagree with you, in relationships, contact is an important part, and especially in a relationship that is not fundamentally platonic (and again we are talking about after a mental decision regarding the relationship) and unlike with the Haredim, the “relationship”(acquaintance) usually lasts for a period of at least six months, so this can be cloudy.
And if there is a concern that it is natural in a relationship and with the addition of a lack of physical closeness, when the solution could have been a matter of time or giving advice, the heart is already blocked, the distance makes it difficult to create closeness over time, at first yes but then it is difficult to maintain over time.
If it's difficult, bring the wedding forward. In my opinion, there's no room for compromise.
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