Regrets and reflections on repentance even though logic dictates otherwise
Hello Rabbi,
I listen to your lessons on repentance and the existing paradox that it is possible to repent because:
- I really wanted to do the deed so why am I playing it (weakness of will)
- I have a set of built-in values that I can’t change, so how can I change?
I’m currently in lesson 3 and I’ll explain that God is actually a part of me and He/I help, and it’s a kind of grace.
The answer is pretty clear to me – the assumption that I have a built-in set of values seems wrong to me. You always talk about having intuitions, but not every intuition is correct – it has to stand the test of my logic and if it’s reasonable then I accept it.
I think the same is true for the set of values I have – yes, I have a set of values - pleasure, meaning, etc., but some of them are values that I bought / were given to me once, but if I give them some thought, and examine them again under a magnifying glass, I may discover that not every value I have – I still want to hold on to. And this is exactly where the answer comes in – if I take stock of myself and wonder about the values I have – then I may come to the conclusion that I need to change my set of values. It’s just like someone changing their mind about something – they enlightened them / revealed to them / they discovered something that they hadn’t thought about before.
I would love your opinion.
If you have a set of fundamental principles, I don’t see how your observation of them will change them. In light of what would that be done? After all, you act and decide on the basis of your principles. And if you want to change them, then they have actually already changed (because you already believe in the new principles you are striving for).
Beyond that, I noticed differences between ‘repentant,’ which is a contemporary phenomenon, and ‘ba’al teshuvah,’ which is a Talmudic and halakhic concept. A repentant person discovers a new set of values that he did not hold in the past. He changes his views. A ba’al teshuvah is someone who held this set of values already when he sinned, but he sinned nonetheless and has now repented. The question of weakness of will deals only with the latter. In contrast, you, in your question, portray the former.
I think you need to better define what you mean when you say “a set of fundamental principles” because I’m not sure we’re talking about the same thing. Maybe I’ll explain it another way: Even if I accept your assumption that there is a set of fundamental principles (which I still don’t understand exactly what they are and why they are given to me from birth and cannot be tested and adopted and discarded) and therefore I am guilty of a particular sin, who said that the weight of each principle cannot be changed in a given situation? If I take an example – I wanted to eat a donut even though I’m on a diet – here the momentary pleasure was what I wanted more than the diet. But maybe that’s just because I didn’t think enough about what a diet means – and if I think about it, I suddenly realize that a diet is equal to the pleasure of every new outfit I put on, every moment I look in the mirror, feeling lighter, etc. Has my set of values changed? I don't think so (although I personally have no problem saying yes) – What has changed? My level of understanding of what a diet will give me. The same goes for the work of God.
To address your referent – I actually think that those who repent are within each of us and not just those who repent.
I'm not really talking about an innate set. A person adopts such principles, and in fact chooses them. I have written more than once about this process, which I believe is based on observation and recognition (intuition) and not on thinking.
Your description of not thinking enough is my answer to the problem of weakness of will. Not that you didn't think enough, but that you omitted the reins of choice.
I don't know if you're listening to this year's series or a previous series, but in this year's series I explained it. There are also columns on the site about weakness of will.
I also think that those who repent are within each of us, and this is exactly what raises the question of weakness of will. You are mixing the issue with the excuse. The issue was that a state of weakness of will is impossible, but in the excuse I explain how and whether it is possible.
Good evening Rabbi and thank you for answering and responding so quickly.
I think there is a difference between my answer and your answer about dropping the reins.
According to you, I can only drop the reins but not think about my principles and change them – How do I actually “choose” to drop the reins? After all, if everything I do is influenced by my principles and is not a matter of choice, how can I choose anything at all? You apparently haven't solved the problem here, you've just changed the focus and the problem still stands.
In my opinion, the question doesn't arise at all because I assume (and I think this is the only option) – that you can change your principles. You adopt some of them automatically as a result of upbringing / environment but you always have the discretion to think about what you have adopted. It's basically just like anything in life that you change your mind about.
The novelty of your lesson is that teshuvah is not just praying and crying about it’ But to actually engage in rational thinking about how I fell, why I am where I am, and what I need to do to change it. To think about the process of sin and understand where my failure lies in wanting to sin.
It's hard for me to keep my head in such gaps. Your question about the choice to choose (to drop the reins) came up in my columns on weakness of will. See there.
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