Marriage without a rabbi
Hello Rabbi,
I saw the rabbi appear in a filmed article on the subject of weddings without the rabbinate's institution and I chose to contact him for help.
My name is So-and-so and I chose, together with my partner, to get married.
We have set the wedding date for this coming December and are now 'closing' the wedding arrangements.
As part of this process, we also addressed the issue of the Kiddushin/marriage ceremony and its religious and legal meanings.
It is important to us to hold a ceremony that is in keeping with Israeli tradition. Although we do not strictly observe the 313 commandments, we want to be part of the Jewish community and conduct ourselves according to its rituals and customs (full disclosure – I am from a religious family, I studied at Midrashet Noam and at the Seder in Hispin).
At the same time, we do not want to cooperate with the Chief Rabbinate's monopoly on marriage (and divorce) in the country (Jews have been married for many generations without the help of the Chief Rabbinate, including my parents, before they immigrated to Israel) and we also want to ensure that the honor and legal status of my partner, Bar, is preserved as a result of the wedding process we will conduct.
Does the rabbi have any recommendations/suggestions on how to conduct such a wedding ceremony?
With a final greeting, a good signature
Hello.
First, congratulations. Second, it is very important to understand that the act you are performing has legal and not just halakhic implications. I strongly oppose the Chief Rabbinate and its monopoly, but I also oppose the trend developing today to marry without registering (as a protest). Beyond the halakhic problems, this also creates legal problems (who is married to whom and what if one of you marries another spouse without anyone knowing, and who will inherit, and how do you get divorced if that happens, etc.). Therefore, no legal system in the world allows or recognizes unregistered marriages. Furthermore, this is also a wrong form of protest against the Rabbinate. Here is a link to a short article I wrote on my website on this subject:
https://mikyab.net/%D7%A2%D7%9C-%D7%A2%D7%A8%D7%99%D7%9B%D7%AA-%D7%A7%D7%99%D7%93%D7%95%D7%A9%D7%99%D7%9F-%D7%A4%D7%A8%D7%98%D7%99%D7%99%D7%9D-%D7%91%D7%A6%D7%95%D7%A8%D7%94-%D7%A0%D7%9B%D7%95%D7%A0%D7%94-%D7%99%D7%95/
I recently held a kiddushin for my son's friend, and now we are on our way to implementing my suggestion in this article (trying to force the Rabbinate to register them as a legally married couple, as I described in the article).
As for the ceremony itself, when you conduct it with a rabbi, you should coordinate with him what is necessary and what is not necessary and come to a conclusion that suits you as well. I will just comment that in my opinion the sensitivities surrounding this ceremony are completely excessive. In my opinion, it has nothing to do with the status of women. It is not determined by who gives the ring and who turns it over to whom. These are formal matters that are meaningless to the issue of equality and women's dignity.
It cannot be denied that the asymmetry does exist, but it is expressed in the halakhic status of the woman (that the woman is divorced against her will and is forbidden from other men) and in life itself, not in the form of the ceremonies. On the halakhic level, there is already a certain balance (even if not complete) through the prohibition of the Dr. G and the prenuptial agreement, etc. In life, you will determine whether there will be equality. Therefore, focusing on the ceremony is nonsense. The ritual orders are meaningless in this matter, in my opinion.
If you wish, we can talk in more detail in person or over the phone.
All the best,
Please. Friend. Get married. Without a rabbi. Today he is separated and has been living in New York for a year. The wife does not want him and neither does he. They both want a divorce immediately. I do not know how my brother is in New York and she is in Israel. Is there a rabbi in New York who can help with a divorce? This is a pikuach nefesh if the problem is a man's wife, etc. Please is there a solution?
Let them approach the rabbi in their place of residence, who will guide them.
I married my partner in a marriage without the rabbinate and we are not together and want to get a divorce. How do we do this and what is the procedure?
I don't know because this is a legal question and not a halakhic one. Halakhic divorces are made according to halakhic law (but I don't know of any institution that does this except the rabbinate). It is possible that the rabbinate will arrange the divorce for a humara even if the marriage was not theirs.
I suggest you contact the Dead End Association, which deals with these questions. They will probably know more than I do.
And according to Halakhah, how do you get divorced?
I cannot detail all the divorce laws here. They are very complicated. But as I wrote, there is no institution that arranges divorces except for the rabbinate. It is worth asking a dead end or an attorney who is knowledgeable in the law and practice, how this is actually done. I assume there is a way to get divorced in the rabbinate like a couple who are well-known in the public.
Peace, Your Honor,
My husband and I were married for 18 years and we have five children. The economic situation has crushed us. We live in a rented house and every day is a war.
We decided to divorce in order to receive help from the state because, as is known in this country, a married couple does not meet the criteria anywhere that can help. We divorced in a rabbinical court, but in practice we were not separated for even a single day. From a halachic perspective, we live under a prohibition.
And I want to marry him without a rabbi.
Because for me, the rabbinate is an institution that does nothing except empty your pocket.
I would be happy if you could guide me.
Hello, my sister had a civil marriage abroad and they are registered as married with the Ministry of the Interior. They are not willing to marry through the Rabbinate, but are willing to consider performing the Kiddushin ceremony without a rabbi. How do you do this?
Hello Yamit. Contact the organization "Moyvi Satom" (details online). They organize and guide in all this.
Congratulations.
My partner and I are interested in consecrating without our rabbi. Please consecrate us.
I'm not dealing with that. There's the dead end and "canopies." Mazal Tov and good luck, Rabbi.
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