Difficult questions

Shalom Rabbi and Happy New Year
A. I thought I wanted to study and teach Gemara carefully, but recently I thought about it again. There are many things in the world that have a clearer and more tangible value for us: saving lives (medicine, the security system), mathematical or scientific contributions that translate into knowledge about the world and technological developments, improving people’s mental state and preventing suffering, and so on. What logic is there in preferring vague goals that are difficult to understand exactly to whom and in what way they contribute, such as the mitzvot, and in particular the study of Torah for its own sake, over these goals whose importance is much more tangible to me and of which I am more convinced? In other words, even if I observe the halakha, etc., what logic is there in choosing a life of Torah study over the other goals?
on. In studying the Gemara carefully, one spends a lot of time trying to reconcile all sorts of different laws in the same mitzvah with each other, and to create a complete and coherent picture of this mitzvah, when sometimes it simply feels like there really is no such coherent picture, and the Sages simply were not that consistent and orderly, and demanded from the verses various sermons that, if you calculate far enough ahead, do not reconcile one with the other. Isn’t trying to cram all these things together simply self-deception?
third. Continuing with the second, do you really believe in the divine nature of the Midot Hardash? I read your explanations in the trilogy, etc., but sometimes I feel like I’m just trying to convince myself of this, and that there’s really no chance that God revealed to the Sages any beginning of the Midot Hardash, but that they simply started them themselves, and that in fact this method just leads them to laws that are sometimes random and sometimes contradict each other, etc., and when we study Gemara we just take it upon ourselves to correct the complications they created with this method. Do you really believe that the Midot Hardash (or an initial version of them) was given at Sinai?
D. When I heard the shofar on Rosh Hashanah, I realized that I had heard so many vorts about what I was supposed to think about during the shofar, that in the end I thought of nothing. Even if we reduce all the nonsense, there are at least two main meanings that seem to contradict each other: A. Shofar as the kingdom of God B. Shofar as weeping/crying/prayer. How is it possible that in such a fundamental mitzvah for the holiday, we are not at all clear about what it is about? How is it possible to keep a mitzvah in this way? What goal is achieved by keeping a mitzvah like this without fulfilling the purpose of the mitzvah that is not clearly known to us?