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Choice or sacrifice or compulsion (a question of opinion, not fact)

שו”תChoice or sacrifice or compulsion (a question of opinion, not fact)
asked 6 years ago

I hope my question is clear.
A husband asks his wife to undergo cosmetic surgery that he feels is necessary in order to continue living with her.
Let’s say there is a side that the surgery has a significant percentage that could harm (maybe it won’t work, maybe it will put her at risk, etc.)
Now he tells her: This is my condition for continuing the marriage. If you can’t, you can happily look for another husband. I’m not forcing you to do it and I’m not demanding that you do it for me. I want it this way. If you want to be my life partner, do it. If you don’t, get a divorce.
The woman tells him I’m doing this purely for you and I want you to know that I’m sacrificing myself for you.
The question: Can this be called sacrifice or does she have a choice because it is in her interest not to be lonely?
If, God forbid, something goes wrong, should the husband see himself as guilty for leading her to take a step that could endanger her?
(After hearing your lesson about free choice)
Can we say that this woman has a choice or is it like there is only one ballot in the election?


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0 Answers
מיכי Staff answered 6 years ago
The question sounds crazy to me, sorry. It’s clear that a woman has a choice, but she has considerations and interests here and there. In every action we take, there are self-interested and other motives (see column 120), and that doesn’t mean we don’t have a choice about it. As for whether there is sacrifice here or not, that is a question of psychology. If it was difficult for her and she would not do it because of her own interests, then there is sacrifice here. As for the question of guilt – the husband has some contributing guilt, but this is what he felt and he wanted to improve their marital life. Therefore, the guilt is not complete.

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