Questions about Tractate Ketuvot
Hello Rabbi Michael,
I learned today in Tractate Ketuvot, page 17, page 1, as follows:
- "Rabbi Acha put on her apron and danced. The rabbis said to him: What is the most important thing for a servant? He said to him: If you imagine it as kosher, then I will do it, and if it is not, then I will not do it." How was it that Rav Acha did not fear that they would think that there was something permissible about it?
- "Rabbi Shmuel bar Nachmani and Rabbi Yonatan: It is permissible to look at a bride's face every seven days, in order to endear her to her husband. And the night of the wedding, her strength is broken." Does this mean that it is forbidden to look at women in general? After all, the world does not practice this?
- "Our rabbis taught: Torah study is canceled for the removal of the deceased and the bringing in of a bride. They said about Rabbi Yehuda bar Rabbi Elai, who used to cancel Torah study for the removal of the deceased and the bringing in of a bride; what are the things said – when he does not have all his needs with him, but he has all his needs with him – he does not cancel. And how much is all his needs? Rav Shmuel bar Ini of his name, the Deva, said: Twelve thousand men and sixty thousand men's improvements, and I said to her: Talisar thousand men and Miniyahu thousand men's improvements. Ulla said: Such as the Dehiytsi men from Evola to Sikra. Rav Sheshet, and itima Rabbi Yochanan said: It was taken as it was given, what was given in sixty thousand, it was taken in sixty thousand. And "the one who said to me, 'Give, but to him who thought of me,' he has a share." Is it possible to interpret this issue as not actually being obligated to go to a funeral or wedding, but only that there is more merit in it than Torah study (and therefore it is appropriate to cancel Torah study for this reason?). Or should we say that there is actually an obligation? And if so, what is the halakha on this issue today?
Best regards,
1. Although there is a fear that they will think that there is a permit, on the other hand there is the mitzvah to make the bride happy. Beyond that, perhaps he did so in front of the TA (and the fact that they asked him whether it was permissible for them too. Perhaps he even arranged in advance for them to ask him). And perhaps it was clear to everyone that Rav Acha was a special case.
2. It is forbidden to look at women in order to enjoy their beauty (simply, only sexual pleasure, and not purely aesthetic). And Shulchan Abba Zechariah 672 ruled on this subject that it is forbidden to look at the bride, but only at her jewelry. I think his intention was to rule that even looking at the bride's face is forbidden (because if there were a God in the bride, it would be permissible in order to endear her to her husband. This is how Fatsha writes in the same place, 672). Although according to this, it is not clear how a beautiful and pious bride dances in front of her if it is forbidden to see her. After all, lying in this way is also impossible, since everyone knows that it is forbidden to look at her face. And it is argued that one praises her jewelry and not her face. And nowadays, the custom is to do this and there is no lack of modesty in it (the norms have changed). However, if it leads to forbidden thoughts, it should be forbidden.
3. It is accepted that there is an obligation to go to a funeral and a wedding, but it is a flexible obligation. If you are close and have no other occupation. In their day, few were invited and therefore everyone was encouraged to go. There are flexible obligations, such as Talmud Torah, which reasonable constraints postpone. In this case, we are talking about the funeral of a deceased person, which is a special law (but it also depends on the norms. In particular, the Rema wrote that in our time there is no Talmud law for some things).
Following on from this question, regarding the funeral of a deceased person in our time, is there an obligation to attend his funeral?
I don't think there is an obligation, unless he is a great man of the generation (is there one?) or your rabbi in some sense. But there is an interest, of course.
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