advice

asked 6 months ago

Peace, Your Honor,
I will try to be as detailed as possible.
I’m a yeshiva student and I’m debating whether or not to visit my family, in this case my aunt, and here are some problems: 1. Probably a cancellation of the Torah 2. I heard that my great-aunt is coming and I don’t know if it’s permissible to spoil her (the aunt herself isn’t that modest either) 3. The family itself is secular 4. I don’t have much to do there because they want to see me, that’s the main thing, but if I don’t come, my mother might be a little angry or sad. I’m not sure that makes a difference to her, but to my aunt more so.
And I’m also afraid of being home alone, but I’m also afraid of going there, so I haven’t started. If you can help, I’d be happy.

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מיכי Staff answered 6 months ago

Hello Rabbi. I think you should continue to maintain contact with your family. The fact that someone is walking in an immodest manner, especially if she is your aunt and I assume that you will not have forbidden thoughts about her, is not a reason not to come. This is true both from the perspective of respecting parents and from the perspective of humane treatment worthy of the family. Yeshiva students have a tendency to act in a mechanical way that supposedly suits the fear of God, at the expense of common sense and basic human consideration. It is very important to be careful not to get carried away by this. Don’t be too righteous, lest you become their enemy.

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