Attending a civil wedding

שו”ת › Category: Halacha › Attending a civil wedding

asked 9 years ago

peace,
I was invited to a colleague’s wedding. He and his fiancée do not want to get married through the rabbinate by a rabbi but by a “wedding officiant.” On principle, they are not interested in undergoing bridal training, baptism, etc. Not out of hatred, but because they want to do it the way they see fit and not perform any “religious” duties that they do not identify with at all. The truth is, from their perspective, I quite understand them.
The question is: Can I/should I attend the wedding or is it better not to? I can easily come up with a convincing excuse so that there is no fear of harming his dignity.
Thank you very much,

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מיכי Staff answered 9 years ago

On a formal level, there is no prohibition on holding such a wedding (except perhaps in the lives of the spouses that will take place after it. And even in this, I assume that they are babies who have been captured). It is permissible to hold any ceremony you want as long as it does not involve prohibitions. Therefore, halachically, I do not see a prohibition on participating in it either. Hence, the decision whether or not to attend should be made according to your best assessment of the effect of your presence on you or on them. Try to assess what is more beneficial or less harmful. If you do not see a problem here or there, then I see no obstacle to participating as a friendly act. Best regards, Miki

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