Fences to honor grandmother
Hello Rabbi,
I wanted to ask about honoring my grandmother, is there an obligation? And also, if my grandmother asked me to drive her to a party from Holon to Jerusalem, is there an obligation to drive? On the surface, it seems to me as if I’m saving her a taxi, so there’s no obligation.
Additionally, is it permissible to mention that you have many occupations to make Grandma give up unpleasantness, or is that not permissible?
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0 Answers
There is an obligation to honor grandparents, as we learn from the midrash quoted in Rashi: “And he went and offered praise to the God of his father Isaac” – hence he is obligated to honor his father more than to honor his father’s father. These things were brought to the halachah in Rama Yom Kippur (as I believe in the name of Maharik, although some disagree). This, of course, goes beyond the moral obligation that certainly exists.
Some understand the duty to honor them as part of honoring parents and not as an independent duty (you honor your parents by helping them honor their parents and also making them happy by doing so).
Although it is clear that the dosage depends on how much it helps her and how much it bothers you, and to what extent it is a whim. It should also be known that in principle, even with regard to parents, it is ruled that respect for them is theirs and not yours (meaning you don’t have to spend money to respect them).
Obviously, you’re allowed to tell the truth if you’re busy, and she’ll make her own decisions.
In general, this is more a question of common sense than of halacha.
I have an article on my website that addresses these questions.
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