Is there value in getting married?
Do you see any value in getting married?
I am not talking now about the ‘institution of marriage’, but about the act of a person getting married – is there value in that? A person who does not get married is in fact a slightly flawed person, since he did not consummate the marriage? If so – is the value in establishing a family with children and descendants, or do you already see a certain value in the act of marriage (and to that is added another value in having children)?
Personally, I find it hard to see any ‘religious’ or ‘moral’ value in this, but I feel that a person who doesn’t get married is a bit flawed. Maybe there’s some ‘aesthetic value’ in a ‘complete person’ after marriage. I don’t know, and I’ll leave the definition here.
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On the 28th of Adar, 5775
Lal'a – Shalom Rav,
On the importance of the institution of marriage, see Ramada's article, ‘Cupid and Other Animals: Why Marry?’ (= Column 141).
With regards, Yaron Fishel Ordner
For the record, a married life in which there is no mutual commitment and anyone can get up and leave – is an immoral exploitation of the partner, turning him/her into an object that is ‘used and discarded’, not to mention the children who fall victim to that commitment-free and unstable relationship. It is immoral, neither towards the partner nor towards the children.
Towards the children, yes, but there are also circumstances in which children of a married and legally committed couple suffer for various reasons. Towards the spouse – What is different from a commercial transaction with a partner?
Rabbi,
Here is a move, and I would be happy if you could point out to me where you think I am wrong:
A. There is value in human life – which includes: helping people improve their lives and make them better. A person who increases happiness for people – is a great virtue, and it is valuable. B. The act of marriage brings happiness to people and makes their lives better. As a result – a person who gets married experiences the value of ‘human life’.
One can argue with this factually (marriage does not bring happiness to people), but let's say the description is true. Where is the fallacy here? Isn't making people happy something valuable? What am I missing?
In another style: There is value in loving people (not a religious value like ’love of Israel’, but a human or moral value). In this way, there is a value or a more complete and harmonious image, that the man loves and unites with a woman (wife). This is an aesthetic or human value of the ideal of ‘family’. Therefore, is there a value in the act of marriage?
I would be happy if you could expand on what points you disagree on and why?
It's not a value in marriage, but in happiness. It's no different than the value in buying someone ice cream. If that's what you mean, then you might be right, and even that's only if happiness is actually caused. But the questioner's intention, as you understood it, was not that. He was wondering about the value in marriage itself, and not just as a means to happiness.
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