Keeping your eyes open.
Hello Rabbi.
In most of the laws and commandments, I always choose the normal path, and I feel that the path of the Torah and life in reality can somehow be combined. Since I got married two years ago, out of a sense of loyalty to my beloved wife, I have awakened to thinking about guarding my eyes and have taken it upon myself to become very strong in this regard, (before that I was not at all careful, unfortunately, and my head was full of thoughts of transgression.) But I see for myself that on most streets in Israel, if I want to walk while guarding myself from thoughts of transgression, I have to walk with my eyes lowered, glancing only a little when I have no choice, when in most of these cases it ends with me having to quickly lower my gaze back to the floor. This life is of course very difficult, but I see no other way and in any case I try to accept my fate. I wanted to ask whether it is possible to insert here the permission of Likha Darkha Akhirina, and if so, how can it make it easier than the description of my path above? And does the rabbi have any ideas, advice, or guidance on how to protect one’s eyes and remain a free, spontaneous, and normal person?
I would really appreciate some advice, thank you very much!
Hello.
Since this is not a halakhic prohibition but rather an acceptance that you have accepted upon yourself, I don’t think there is anything to enter into the boundaries of the later Darcha here. The question is what is right to do, not what is permitted or forbidden to do.
In my opinion, if you are a normal person, it is not reasonable to act as you describe. The Torah was not given to the ministering angels, and we are supposed to live in the world we live in and not run away to the deserts and live like “women of the desert.”
By the way, if I may be allowed a little psychology in the dime, there is definitely a possibility that the more you deal with this matter, the more he will pursue you. If you are obsessive about keeping your eyes open, there is a chance that it will bring you down more. Take that into account too.
I think if you go back to normal and careful behavior it’s better, both for the normality and spontaneity of life and for your relationship with your wife. And if there is an occasional reflection, we are all human.
All of this assumes that you are an ordinary person and not someone who suffers from special problems, in which case you should consult separately with someone who knows you and your problems.
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A wonderful difference between keeping your eyes open and ignoring them is how much you home in like a heat-guided missile on any Wieber that is identified as a target. The nefkuta is when she steps towards you and passes you, turning her head or not. There are several degrees to this, as those who know grace know. And as our sages say, “The back of a lion is not the back of a woman.” And as wel and dal and achmel
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