The meeting method in the sector
Greetings to Rabbi Michi,
What is the pre-wedding dating system based on? In other words, where does the permission for the guy and the girl to meet each other for a long period of time come from? I assume that it is based, among other things, on “until the wedding,” but what is included in this permission? After all, in the vast majority of cases, it flows from a limited set of appropriate places in a restrained and cautious environment to a long series of meetings and a very stormy emotional connection.
In other words, even if the rabbis’ instruction is to do it in a restrained and specific manner, almost all couples do not give it their consent, and often end up with “but he should not look through prostitution” (Rambam), or with forbidden exclusivity and contact.
And in general, according to the logic of “Until Shirana”, it seems that after the wort, the couple should almost retire from each other, right?
(I have no alternative, of course)
thanks
This is based on common sense and not on some Talmudic teaching or another. It is true that a meeting between the sexes can lead to problematic actions, but this is true for any meeting. There is no clear line as to how far it is permitted and when it is prohibited, and I also do not think that the existence of such a meeting is actually a halakhic prohibition. When it comes to forbidden thoughts, there is a prohibition. The same questions also arise in relation to the very existence of a mixed society, and of course everything depends on the prevailing norms in that society.
I haven't gone out on matchmaking yet, but it seems to me that in addition to the prohibitions on modesty, there are also prohibitions that a person and his companion will inevitably encounter.
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