third’
peace
I went on a date on Sunday night. We ate at a not-so-cheap restaurant. I paid, and at night she sent me a message that it wasn’t right for her. Obviously, if I had known that it was her decision, I wouldn’t have paid for it and we would have split it 50/50. Does she have to pay me back? And what if she admits that she decided on the date itself that it wasn’t right for her (but it’s accepted, so they don’t say it to her face, they wait to write a message). I’m a little nervous and feel taken advantage of, to be honest.
I think it’s a custom in the world not to say to your face, and you paid for it. This is the world of dating, and one needs to recognize it when making decisions about whether and how much to pay. If she wants to return her share in advance, that would be nice (especially if she decided during the meeting itself that it wasn’t right for her). But in my opinion, she is not obligated to.
Of course, I wish you success in the future. Don't lose heart. But I wouldn't try to pay for an expensive meal either. That's not what's supposed to do the job and create a good relationship with a good woman.
I see the second message as a sign of charitable learning and spiritual nobility, writing another message casually with an expression of care and heartfelt wishes. Best wishes, Rabbi Miki.
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