Unable to recover from loss

Hello Daniel, my brother. I lost my father at the age of 10 and a half, so I was religious, after a few years I switched to secular, and from there it influenced my conversion to the Haredim. I was attached to it with supreme devotion. But what I went through there with my closed eyes at the time was the complete opposite. I went through beatings and things that the mind cannot bear to recount, and yet I was faithful to his path. I demanded with all my heart that he be faithful to his path on a floor with blood, but he was not there at all. If this is his answer to the orphans - everything is a crow's flower. I am not here to weaken you in the religious path, it is important to me, my brother, that you have your eyes open as the wise man with his eyes in his head - on life. The death of a father has extensive psychological effects on the son, and also those that he does not notice. You need to pay attention to them. Study the subject, my brother, have conversations if necessary. Concern in the heart of a man - Yeshaina. You should do it in nature, there is ‘nature-therapy’. Nature is mysterious and healing. Overcome and transcend. Be a warrior! A true warrior is measured by his inner heroism. Who conquers? The conqueror. Inward. And rules in his spirit? A city-bound. Good luck on the road and may you know only good in your life.

You touched my heart.. I didn't read you correctly until now.

On the eve of Shabbat, greetings for Av 5751

To Daniel, – Peace be upon you,

It is difficult, very difficult to find your way in the world without your father's support, encouragement, and close guidance. But your father did not leave you alone in the world. He left a representative and substitute in the world, – you!

In addition to your father's qualities that are embedded in your physical and spiritual DNA, you have had time in your years to see his good conduct, and the ways he developed to cope with life's difficulties.

Follow in his footsteps! Ask yourself in every dilemma in life: ‘What would Dad say or do in this situation?’ And so his guidance will continue to accompany every step you take.

Your father's soul watches from above and awaits your success, and his guidance will continue to accompany you every step of the way. Go with him and succeed!

With best wishes, Sh”t