What do you think about this post by Rabbi Ido Pechter?
He presents the phenomenon of gentrification and offers a solution to it. Do you agree with the direction he presents?
Letter to the teacher
You are going through turbulent times. Your parents educated you for many years in a certain way. You studied in religious institutions. You have accumulated knowledge of Torah. You know Halacha life inside out. Prayer, Shabbat, kashrut, kippah, blessings, tefillin, keeping in touch, and many other laws have already become second nature to you, to the point that it is difficult to picture you otherwise. But you no longer find meaning and significance in it, and you want to stop with it and get out.
But the price is heavy. If you decide what you decide, you don’t just leave religion. You’ll be fine with God. You also leave the family, a kind of feeling of betrayal. Your parents raised you in a certain way and now you’re abandoning it. You disappoint them, hurt them. From now on, you will be marked as the different child; the one who left the path, and who didn’t remain faithful to the path that was dictated to him. You will be the subject of quite a few conversations and gossip in the community and in the synagogue.
But in your mind, exactly the opposite thoughts arise. It’s not that you’re leaving the path; it’s them, and in fact the entire world around you, that have left the path. You, on the other hand, want to be authentic; not to do things just because someone said or wrote that they should be done, but because there is value in them. And you don’t understand what value is in so many religious acts.
You don’t accept the simplistic explanations that celebrity rabbis provide. And you’re right. There is really no proof of the existence of God, and the existence of Mount Sinai cannot be proven in any way. You’re also right that the compiler of the Mishnah, the compilers of the Gemara, the author of the Shulchan Aruch or the Mishnah Berurah, were human beings, like you and me. They did not accept the Torah they wrote as divine revelation, and even if they did – why should the revelation of one man oblige me today to do something I don’t want to do?
You are also right that there are many things that are difficult to accept in religion. How is it that in a world that grants women equal rights, a woman is not counted in the minyan and if she wants to separate from her husband she has to wait until he agrees to release her from him? What is this disgusting religious politics, within the rabbinical courts, in the Knesset and the Chief Rabbinate? How in the name of religion – not to fall, God forbid, under defamation laws – do we protect those who sexually abuse women and children? How did kashrut become a broken system in which the main thing is money?
And alongside the criticism, the outside world beckons more than ever. You recognize freedom and a lot of fun there. Yes, fun, and also pleasure. And these are not rude words. Why stifle life and not celebrate it, if we can? Why adopt an anxious life of Halacha when you can live a much more open and relaxed life? And slowly you also discover that it is not like what they told you in high school yeshiva. The secular are also good, moral, and idealistic people, and sometimes they are actually more sensitive to one another than the religious people you know. So why not join their camp?
No, if you expect me to answer all the good questions you ask, it won’t happen. Not because I have nothing to say, and you’d be surprised – I also identify with a lot of your criticism. The point is that I don’t think it’s primarily an intellectual matter. What you’re experiencing, in my opinion, is not just a matter of thought, which a convincing answer would satisfy. Even if I prove to you that there is a God (and as I said, I can’t) or that there was a Mount Sinai stand (and as I said, I can’t do that either), that’s not what will “get you back on track.” I think you’re mainly experiencing a crisis of trust in your family and community, the feeling that the path you’ve been led on isn’t necessarily the right one for you, and that the world is opening up many advanced possibilities for you that have been kept from you until now. Something deep inside you has been uprooted.
What I do want to offer you is to open your mind and consciousness to a third possibility. Life doesn’t have to be ‘either or’, either you are religious or you abandon the path and become secular. It doesn’t have to be either you take off the kippah completely or you leave it on. I want to offer you another, softer option, of continuity. After all, you know, like me, that alongside the great criticism of the system and the religious establishment, there are many beautiful and uplifting things there. There are moments when prayer does manage to touch us. Sitting around the table on Shabbat and playing Taki with the family, without everyone being busy with their phone or running for a walk, is charming and profound. There are also rabbis that you do manage to appreciate and see as role models. Holidays can instill in us an atmosphere of holiness and elation, and Torah study can also stir our thoughts and charge us with meaning. But above all, no one really wants to leave the family and the identification with it.
I offer you another way, one that doesn’t throw the baby out with the bathwater. You don’t have to stay exactly as you were raised, but you don’t have to break away either. You can choose a softer option – continue to hold on to the good that you do see, and do other things that you choose to do. You might be surprised to hear that in many cases, Halacha knows how to accommodate and accept things that are not currently conceivable. There is a much wider range of opinions than is presented in Halacha today. There are methods and customs that you are not sufficiently exposed to. But it’s not your fault that you don’t know this; it’s the fault of the Halacha teachers who didn’t educate you to recognize them.
Instead of feeling like you have to make a decision, to take it down or not to take it down, to keep it or not to keep it, let’s approach what you’re going through as a journey. Yes, I, too, who am in the midst of the religious world, am on a journey. Like you, I wonder about God and religion. I ask and raise doubts, sometimes I find answers and sometimes I don’t. Sometimes I’m at a spiritual peak and sometimes I’m at a low point, feeling torn and alienated. But I don’t feel like I have to decide all the time. Because I know that I’m on a journey of personal inquiry that will accompany me my whole life, a bit like Abraham our father or the people of Israel in the desert. And the truth is, I don’t think that ever in history the people of Israel reached some clear, self-contained destination. I doubt that will happen even when the Messiah comes. So why do you think you have to decide here and now?
I’ll tell you a secret, even within the religious and ultra-Orthodox world, not everyone does everything. There are many who knowingly forgo certain fasts, wearing a tzitzit, and even some of the prayers and blessings. But they consider themselves religious and from their perspective, everything is fine. I’m not saying that because of them you should decide to stay with a kippah. Of course not. I just want to expose you to the possibility of living in continuity, without feeling the need to decide all the time.
My dear son, you are on a journey. And that is great. Don’t be so quick to turn every question mark into an exclamation point. Not every crisis is the end of the road; on the contrary, a crisis, I believe, is the greatest engine of growth. I am not here to impose anything on you. On the contrary, I am very happy with where you are. I just want to give some perspective, from someone who is a little older than you, and has been through a thing or two in life. I suggest that all of us – both you and me – relax. Not to make dramatic declarations but to accept the fact that life is complex, and that sometimes the declaration ‘yes’ or ‘no’, ‘true’ or ‘false’, is the greatest distortion.
And above all, I invite myself to join this journey of yours, if you give me space of course. As the prophet says – “And he will repay you fathers for sons”? First of all, I want to return to you. Even if you walk different paths than me, I don’t want you to be disconnected from me. I still want us to be the closest in the world, the ones who are able to talk heart to heart in any situation. True, I grew up in a different generation and in a different atmosphere, but that’s precisely why it’s so important to me to be able to connect with you from your place, from your experience, to be able to see the world through your perspective. And then, to ask the questions with you, and look for answers, and sometimes remain in doubt. But always, in any situation, to be together.
Will you give me a place in your world?
This is my humble request to you,
I love you.
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Do you agree with Rabbi Ido Pechter that it is possible to live in continuity within the religious world?
No, and I'm not sure that's what he meant to write either. Regarding a sukkah on a balcony, he later clarified that it was a suggestion of the lesser evil and not a halakhic suggestion. It's possible that he means that here too. If he means a different, more flexible halakhic interpretation, that's a different discussion, of course. Here there is full commitment and the question is what is the correct interpretation of the halakhic.
If those who abandon religion are troubled by philosophical questions, why do they all become classical Israeli secularists and not adopt one of the hundreds of different philosophies in the world? Why is it so hard to find a religious fanatic who has become Shinto, communist, or Sufi, and did they all just happen to find the absolute truth in Israeli secularism?
We all know the truth: society, not philosophy, is the issue. And yet, it's a complete waste.
On the other hand, the religious who grew up in a religious home all for some reason chose Judaism, and not Shinto or another faith. This is a very weak argument. Indeed, people are influenced by their environment, and they act on the basis of complex motives, but it is not correct to state in a blanket manner that their decisions have no fundamental significance.
Beyond that, they were within Judaism and therefore examined it. They came to the conclusion that it didn't suit them, and now they remain secular and have not further examined other things that are not within them. This is also a possibility.
Why is this a contradiction?
Indeed, both the religious who chose religion and the secularists who chose secularism do so mainly because of social influence.
You wrote that there are those who examined religion and it did not seem right to them, and now they have remained secular and have not examined other things. The question is why not? A seeker of truth is not satisfied with knowing what is not true, but strives to find what is true. I am afraid that whoever is satisfied with the absence of truth is not the truth that is important to him, but rather the preference for integration into the majority society, which also happens to be more convenient and does not require much.
As mentioned, even religious people are usually prevented from the influence of the environment, but they at least hold on to some truth (in their opinion at least), which is not true. Secularism does not offer any truth, but rather its absence or negation. (I am starting from the assumption that the existence of a normal and comfortable social life cannot be considered truth, even if there are those who insist on calling it "secular values")
Yossi, as a Datl”sh (mustard”sh), I want to answer the question “why is it very difficult to find a Datl”sh who has become a Shintoist, a communist or a Sufi”.
I see secularism as a philosophy that rejects external (divine) interventions in the order of the world, and hangs events on the laws of nature and human decisions. Therefore, there is no point in me examining Shinto and Sufism, because I do not accept the basis of their faith.
I can say that I am not completely influenced by the society around me, and this is expressed in a lack of connection to Zionist nationalism, and to many cultural values, so it is not correct to say that I am simply a mirror image of society. For example, the anthem, the flag and the like do not move me, and I have not participated in the elections since I came out 10 years ago.
To the commenter Shalom,
The question is not about you specifically, but about those who leave Judaism in general. It is unlikely that by chance all those who leave Judaism found the truth in the majority culture around them, especially when in each period the majority culture was different. And is it just a coincidence that those who leave Judaism in Israel during the Second Temple period adopted Greek philosophy, in medieval Europe Christianity, in the 18th century the Reformation, in the 20th century communism or secular nationalism, and in the 21st century Western secularism?
As Rabbi Michi noted, the same question also applies to those who grew up in religion and happen to believe that it is the truth. So the conclusion from both questions is that most people think according to the society around them, and the only difference between those who hold onto religion and those who leave it is whether they prefer to identify with the minority society they grew up in or with the surrounding hegemonic majority society.
As for you specifically, of course I don't know you and you may be from the minority who truly think independently. But I don't see how the lack of connection to Zionist nationalism constitutes proof of this, when, as is well known, the dominant philosophy today in the West (and certainly on the Israeli left) completely rejects nationalism in its anthem and flag. But it is expected from the effort of today's secular philosophy to feel a lack of connection, if not rejection, of nationalism and its offshoots.
My impression of Rabbi Ido's letter is that he is asking the Jewish people to connect with the culture of Judaism, not out of faith. He emphasizes that he is unable to provide proof of the existence of God or the status of Mount Sinai, but still, "keep what is beautiful."
This may be nice for those who want Jewish "culture."
But what about this and a moving and heart-wrenching letter from a rabbi?
And in general, if he cannot provide evidence for the existence of God and the status of Mount Sinai even for himself, what is the basis for his faith?
Without knowing him, and only from the letter, he "sounds" like a hidden atheist
Why is "a philosophy that rejects external (divine) interventions in the order of the world, and hangs events on the laws of nature and human decisions" secular?
The owner of the website Shlita advocates this philosophy and is religious. He believes that the laws of nature were determined by an external factor but that he does not interfere with them, except rarely.
Danny, because the owner of the site is secular with a thin and transparent religious shell.
The owner of the site works for the sake of the ’. Someone who works for the ’ so that the ’ can have a kindergarten teacher does not work for the sake of it but for his own pleasure. In other words, he is not really religious (even if he is looking for a babysitter to manage his life).
Buddy, I don't understand why a concept that denies divine intervention in the material world is secular. After all, the purpose of serving God is to reach a goal that is in the spiritual world, so the question of whether good deeds have an effect on the material world is side-tracked and irrelevant to the purpose of religion.
One could argue that such a concept is contrary to tradition and the like, but it is not secular in any way. (For example, the call to prayer is contrary to tradition but is not a secular concept at all)
To Danny, as I understand it, the owner of the site does not believe that the work of God is for a purpose in the spiritual world, but rather that the work of God is a commitment to the value of the work of God, regardless of the question of purpose at all. The Datlash also does not accept the commitment to external things and sees this as a type of external intervention, meaning that from his perspective, even a divine command is an external intervention.
The use of the term "external" is misleading, because if there is a commitment to something spiritual, it is found to be not external but the inner essence of the world.
The claim of the Datlash is apparently that there is nothing spiritual at all, and the entire world consists of matter alone. This is not a question of external intervention but whether there is anything besides matter.
Rabbi Ido Pechter accepts with understanding and openness (and with all due respect, also quite reluctantly) any person who has decided on his own accord to question anything that he was taught should not be doubted.
All the questions he raised are worthy of being raised, and some of them certainly require doubt, disgust, and renunciation (for example: kosher from the rabbinate, which has been around for a long time, and no one would dispute that there are thieves in the city (the rabbinate in this case), since it is known that the rabbi loves bribes).
Strong faith and love for God are measured only by God alone, not by society and people.
And loving your neighbor as yourself is the only relevant rule.
And regarding keeping the commandments, it is the choice of an educated person not to accept restrictions in this world whose origin is questionable. And it is the choice of an educated person to accept restrictions whose origin is questionable.
There is no difference between the two.
Rabbi Ido Pechter actually writes what is in his heart, this is a letter that is indeed aimed at Detlesh but is addressed to himself…
And what happens if the educated person chooses not to accept the "only relevant rule" of loving your neighbor as yourself, which has the same origin as the other commandments?
Tom ”m – I am in favor of doubting, but one must be consistent and doubt everything. Even in the Western worldview, love your neighbor as yourself is the only relevant rule (and a host of other perceptions). What I find is that usually doubters only do so of Judaism, but they accept the truths of the secular world without reservation.
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