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What’s the point?

שו”תCategory: generalWhat’s the point?
asked 2 years ago

Hello Rabbi.
On Friday I learned of the death of a neighbor. On Simchat Torah, two of my good friends were killed. The world is so fleeting, and I can’t seem to get my bearings…
I’m in my early twenties, and there’s already pressure on me to get married, but I really can’t understand why love someone and start a family with them if they (or my children) could suddenly die at any moment. Why tie myself to people who will surely die one day.
Sorry if the question goes beyond the usual areas discussed here, it’s hard for me to think of anyone else who could anchor me in the water.


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0 Answers
מיכי Staff answered 2 years ago
Hello Michaela. Each in his own way. My way of dealing with such feelings is to look at them rationally. Not to let emotion cover your entire background. In the end, those who were affected were three people. The percentage of those affected out of the entire public in Israel is zero. So statistically, the argument that there is no point because in the end everyone will die prematurely is absurd and baseless. These isolated cases are right before your eyes right now and sadden you, but it is a misleading emotion. Daniel Kahneman has already listed a list of representational failures, meaning that a person is impressed by what appears before his eyes and assumes that this is a representative sample and that this is the general picture, which it is not. Most likely, your life will proceed peacefully and leisurely, except for moments that are a little more or less difficult, like all of us. There is no need to panic. And even if the small chance happens and they end prematurely, why not gain a few good years until that happens? After all, in the end, we will all go the same way all over the country. So what is the fundamental difference between five years and seventy years? In the eyes of eternity, both are pips. The conclusion is that it is right to live in the moment (from a South American manina, but in a good and productive, not nihilistic sense). It is said that when Rabbi Yitzhak of Worki passed away, a student of his came to the court of the Kotzker Hasidism (Rabbi Yitzhak was originally a fellow student of the Kotzker), and was asked what was most important to your Rebbe? It is customary to attribute to each Rabbi a point on which he placed emphasis in his service to God. That student replied: What he did at that moment. In my opinion, this is a wonderful answer. The essence of the Jewish Menina. Do what is right for that moment, and don’t think too much about long-term goals. It is neutered and neutralizing, and also unnecessary. Focus on what you are doing at that moment, and try to do it best and also enjoy it. What happens later, however, is not always in our hands. As for marriage, don’t get excited about the pressures. Do it when it suits you and when you find a suitable partner. And may everyone dance happily. Good luck and congratulations in advance 🙂 Don’t despair. Overall, the world is nice and good. We shouldn’t let difficult moments cover our entire screen. If there is anything else, don’t hesitate to contact us. You can do so here, by email, or on WhatsApp.

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תום replied 2 years ago

Thanks to the questioner and the answerer. I experience the same feelings and I feel as if this answer is directed at me.
By the way, since menina means tomorrow, how does it connect with living in the moment?

מיכי Staff replied 2 years ago

This is the literal translation. But its essential meaning is to live in the moment (and leave annoying things for tomorrow).

תום replied 2 years ago

Thanks.
A question that may be a bit annoying, sorry
Can you distribute the question and answer to people without internet that might be useful to them? Of course, without adding or subtracting anything and without the line at the end that allows you to contact them.

מיכי Staff replied 2 years ago

With pleasure.
It is also possible with the line.

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