You won’t hate (?)
Hello Rabbi,
1. I wanted to know if there is really a prohibition against hating someone in your heart? How can you command feelings?
2. I understand that some say that if you told a person that you hate them and didn’t keep it in your heart, then you don’t violate the prohibition. Is this true?
Assuming that and 2 are true, and that if I hate a famous person or a person who is hard to reach, should I make an effort to tell him that I really can’t stand him and/or the way he behaves?
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- First, contrary to popular belief, it is possible to command emotions. A person can control their emotions. And even if you fail, then you are a coward. In any case, at least according to the Maimonides, the prohibition is to keep hatred in the heart and not to express it with the mouth.
- See above.
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Nowadays, it is relatively easy to send a message to famous people via social media. Assuming that someone hates an unknown person who is not at all anonymous, but a very famous person, you can send him a message on a social media site like Instagram. Is there an obligation to send him a message that you hate him?
I wrote that I don't think so.
In the name of God, the Father
Lauren – Hello,
I think there is no point in informing a person that I feel a negative emotion towards him, what the Torah commands is ‘You shall not hate your brother in your heart’ but ‘Prove your fellow man’. The care for others should be expressed in a matter-of-fact rebuke spoken in a respectful manner that is likely to be accepted by the heart of the listener.
When the indignation at the actions of others is used for matter-of-fact criticism, which by its very nature also includes an attempt to understand, even if not justify, the other's motives – the negative emotions, which are no longer imprisoned in the depths of the heart but have received a proper expression, are greatly softened.
Best regards, Fish”
The reason why reproof should be said respectfully is that “may his face change” (Hebrews 11:11), and hence reproof should be given without shaming the one being reproved. A substantive and respectful critique has a greater chance of having an impact. Buber called this: “I-you discourse.”
Best regards, Fishel
Although this is the plain meaning of the verse, I think that Maimonides' language does not mean that. The prohibition is on the very act of keeping it in the heart, and not just on the addition of the act of proving it. But I did not check now.
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