The Questions That Turn Them Away from Religion

Interview Content

The Questions That Turn Them Away from Religion

We continue the journey of searching for and clarifying the reasons why about a quarter of graduates of Religious Zionist education choose to leave the path of religion, and this time we spoke with Rabbi Miky Abraham, who for many years has been engaged with questions of faith and thought in the spirit of the younger generation. Third article in the series:

Rabbi Abraham, now a lecturer at the Institute for Advanced Torah Studies at Bar-Ilan, speaks of meetings with teenagers, conversations, and questions that reach him through the website he established, and notes that these are a very wide range of questions that occupy young people—questions to which they do not always receive adequate answers.

The questions in question deal, among other things, with history, biblical criticism, the fit between the Torah and other sources, belief in God as against scientific explanations, the development of the Torah and the reliability of its transmission, the binding force of details added over the generations, what was actually given to Moses at Sinai, and more.

According to him, the broad range of topics for question and discussion requires the rabbi-teacher and educator to whom the questions are directed to be conversant in quite a few fields in order to answer them. “And it turns out that we have many very educated and talented young people. I do not remember that when I was that age there were many youngsters with such intellectual ability. It is hard to cope without engaging the questions, studying, and consulting, and even then it is not always possible to answer everything.”

Rabbi Abraham sharpens his point and says that many of the educators and rabbi-teachers in the yeshiva high schools are not equipped to provide answers to such questions, and in this context the word ‘equipped’ bears both meanings: they do not receive the necessary training for this, and, it must be admitted, some simply do not have the talent for it.

Rabbi Abraham is careful to be cautious, yet says that, generally speaking, one must remember that there is a built-in asymmetry in the relationship between students and teachers. Whereas teachers are the segment of the population that chose teaching as a way of life, students come from the population at large; that is, among them are people with expertise, knowledge, and a desire to develop in many fields, and nowadays they are also talented in a variety of areas.

This situation, in which one teacher stands before such a wide variety of students, also creates a built-in asymmetric problem. “The result is that very often an average teacher with average learning meets youngsters who are several levels above him, and so I meet youngsters who do not receive answers to their questions. Therefore we arrive at a situation in which דווקא the best are the ones who leave us, while we are left with the less talented—and that was not the case in the past.”

Rabbi Abraham expresses concern that a reality in which the questions of the best and most talented go unanswered, effectively sending them to graze in other pastures, means that “our overall image becomes more mediocre and less self-confident. People feel that the best have left, and that we are floundering in shallow waters.”

Following these remarks, Rabbi Abraham was asked whether he feels a certain discomfort in saying such things, since they both grant legitimacy to those who ask questions, on the one hand, and leave those who do not ask with the feeling that something is wrong with them—the feeling that if they have no doubts of faith, they are mediocre and weak.

“It is hard for me to say this, but it needs to be said, and that is why I say it. There is something true here, and therefore it is wrong to refrain from saying it; tactically as well, it is wrong not to say it, because if you tell people not to ask, and that if you ask then something is wrong with you, the result is that you lose them—they leave, and you are left with those who do not ask, with the mediocre.

“Part of changing the trend of these years requires putting things on the table and telling a person that he is required to think and draw conclusions, and if you think your place is not here, then do not be here. It is hard for me to say that, but I think it is truly necessary at this time,” says Rabbi Abraham, adding that in order to reach conclusions, one way or the other, the young person must conduct a deep, substantive, and probing inquiry, and not stop merely because this or that educator did not provide an answer.

“Obviously, there are very many who do not carry the inquiry through to the end. Very often I meet people whom parents and educators bring to me after they have already decided to leave, and then I meet them when they are no longer really listening; it is hard to speak with them substantively. It is not that when they meet me they immediately find an answer—that is far from the case—but at least there is something to talk about. That is my sense. It depends very much on the stage at which they arrive.

“If one tells him that he must make decisions but must do so properly, and if it is done properly I will be prepared to accept the results even if, in my opinion, they are incorrect and constitute a grave mistake—but that is the implication. I will have to stand behind the statement that if you have investigated, then you must act on the conclusion you reached, difficult as that is.”

Regarding the question of the real influence of theological and spiritual questions on the decision of young people to leave religion, Rabbi Abraham says that at meetings of educators and rabbis he has often heard claims that “these questions are more answers than questions.” By this they mean that the questions are merely meant to permit forbidden sexual conduct and the like, and therefore that warmth and love shown to the teenagers is enough to reconnect them to the world of the study hall, with no real need to debate or philosophize with them about deep matters.

“I strongly object to this, because that is how we lose the best and those who ask questions. It is a problematic approach that stems from lack of confidence and inability to provide answers. Beyond that, a person who asks questions—even if it comes from impulses and distress—the fact remains that he takes the trouble to ask them. That means he is not willing to take the step simply because he is fed up; rather, he is seeking intellectual backing for leaving. Therefore it is important to grapple with the questions, because then you do not give him that intellectual backing, and you enable him to decide whether he is going with his impulses. For that, it is not enough to sit with him over a cup of coffee at a campfire gathering.”

Rabbi Abraham notes that given the situation in which the educators and rabbi-teachers are not prepared to give deep philosophical answers to the questions of young people, the system must train people from within for this purpose. “Clearly, an ordinary rabbi-teacher will not be able to do this, but if in the school or in the yeshiva high school there is one person who deals with philosophy, one with biblical criticism, and one with history, then the student can get an answer, and that is fine. The student does not have to receive answers only from his own rabbi-teacher. It is enough that he know he can get an answer from another rabbi-teacher, from the head of the yeshiva, or from someone else; that is perfectly fine.

“There can be training courses for rabbi-teachers, and specific training for each rabbi-teacher according to his approach, and a list of contacts or a list of people who will focus on this more, advance the matter seriously, write support materials for rabbis and for themselves, clarify the questions among themselves, and gather the information in its various fields. After all, everyone encounters all the questions, but not everyone knows how to answer.”

To all this Rabbi Abraham adds that, after all is said and done, there is also a need to admit that some questions are justified and require a reexamination of the tradition the system seeks to inculcate in students—a tradition that, in his view, does not always withstand the test of time. “There is something here that makes it hard to stand before the mirror. Sometimes the questions are justified, and we need to draw the conclusions.”

Regarding the answers young people receive on the internet—answers that sometimes come from very problematic sources—Rabbi Abraham says that if the response does not come from within the system, “some of the young people will go to people outside the framework, and I am one example, and I assume there are many others like that; they will look for other channels through parents and teachers. But very often they will go to the other side, to atheist websites that explain things very fluently, in a way that seems very impressive, even though sometimes the material there is of a very low level. Still, they write with data and with great confidence. That impresses the youngsters, and if you reach them only afterward, you have missed the train. Sites aimed at bringing people back to religion cannot compete. The battle on the web was decided long ago…”

“Perhaps websites of equal quality need to be established on the other side, but for the time being that is not happening. Someone who looks for such discussions online will generally find fluent and impressive views on the secular atheist side, and far less impressive views on the religious side. There it sounds a bit preachy.

“It is important to deal with this, and often the reluctance to engage in discussion stems from a fear of raising questions and throwing young people into a maelstrom. But on the other hand, if the questions are not brought to the table, one encounters them only after the young person has done his own searching in private. At that stage, very often, you have already lost him.”

“The price is that you expose those who do not ask questions to the questions. It is a difficult decision,” Rabbi Abraham remarks.

Source (Arutz 7): http://www.inn.co.il/News/News.aspx/333778