Consultation on faith

Hello Rabbi.
 
I wanted to consult you about something related to faith. I am 18 years old and am struggling a lot with the subject.
In your answer here, you wrote that there is no prohibition against investigating faith, but it may exist in people without philosophical skills or whose instincts move them to cast doubt and incite them towards it. In any case, I will tell you in general terms how it affects me: I come from a traditional-religious home until a few years ago I became a little stronger, and a little after my strengthening (which was from a completely innocent faith) I was exposed to a website on the Internet where several surfers were talking about religion and philosophy. This exposed me to two main things: 1. Doubts that arose in me because of that knowledge, I really remember moments when I was very disturbed by biblical criticism, etc., 2. Growing curiosity. The broad knowledge that I was exposed to (which was on topics other than philosophy) greatly tickled the inquisitive sense that fills me and made me want to also have broad knowledge.
I realized that exploring faith can both answer my questions and make me a wiser person. In any case, at a certain point I realized that I was not mentally prepared to explore faith (young age, confusion, etc.), and I decided to let the subject go (I didn’t really let it go completely because the subject intrigued me, but I didn’t build a systematic investigation nor did I read books). Today I’m already after school and feel much more prepared. I also sometimes get to touch on philosophical content and be exposed to knowledge that used to be very scary to me. But I don’t know how much I have doubts. If asked, I’ll say that I believe in God, but inside I don’t really know that He exists. In addition, I tend to be strict with the commandments that are more human to human (this is probably related to my OCD) or the laws of Shabbat and holidays are more important to me, on the other hand I don’t really feel obligated to say a blessing over food. I really want to be a person who has opinions and knows what he’s doing in life, so non-committed halachic tradition that comes from inertia is out of the question for me, and if I worship God then I want it to be grounded and committed. The same goes for any other opinion. I have philosophical questions – but more in the direction of political philosophy or whether I really have a choice or a soul. When I’m exposed to biblical criticism, it doesn’t stress me out, even though I don’t really have much to argue against it. Until recently, I was stressed out by the thought that Christianity is the truth, but that too is starting to make me indifferent. Maybe it’s OCD, the fact that I was born for it, and maybe a little bit of logic, but I don’t know why I really feel obligated to certain commandments.
The curiosity remains, I would be very happy to be smarter and I really want to develop habits of quality study and a better understanding of the world, but I am really confused whether I am allowed to do this in light of the link to the question above. You could even say that I am afraid that I will violate this prohibition.
I hope I explained myself properly. Basically, my question is what do you think the halakha is on this matter regarding my issue, and in general, how would you recommend a person in my situation approach the religious, philosophical, etc. issue. I would appreciate advice from someone who understands better. I apologize for the length, but I would be very happy for an answer that is grounded in understanding and understanding (: