The scope of the halachic authority of the sages in defining things in reality, and more on the issue of sexuality and gender in halachic law

To Rabbi Michael, peace and a great week!
I wanted to ask more, I wonder, by whose authority do you define the things/objects/objects/people who are objects/myself to whom the law applies? And I’m talking about a situation in our day where there is no power to renew laws. Or is there power in this matter?
I, as someone who deals with philosophy and sees myself as obligated to instill good and correct opinions as my main duty, am deeply morally tormented by the torment that the Torah I hold sometimes causes people, and this brings me to a special concern with this question. And I think there is a natural morality and “and you have done what is right and good,” which also require thinking in halachic tools for solving personal problems.
If the law requires that an etrog be taken without defect, and I believe that it is without defect, but all the sages of this generation believe that it has a defect. When I take the etrog and recite the blessing, have I fulfilled the mitzvah or have I recited the blessing in vain?
And let’s assume that this isn’t a case of “they tell you about the left that it’s the right.”
I read an article that there are gay people whose brains are more like a woman’s. I doubt it. But I wonder if it’s worth investigating in terms of halakhic law.
Let’s say I desire to sleep with a gay man whose brain resembles that of a woman (I personally don’t have such an attraction to men, but let’s say I was gay.) And let’s say philosophically it seems to me that what is more relevant to determining a person’s masculinity is the brain structure. (I even found a nice refinement of language – “male” from the word “zichron”, and “female” from the word “lankan” from the word “lankan” from the word “lankan”, male is the opposite of the number of wisdom, and female is the opposite of the number of understanding. Males also have the commandment of tefillin for zichron that females do not, and they are mainly responsible for transmitting the memory of tradition as a traditional role, and women are more likely to learn the details of completed laws in the traditional role. And let’s say that the right brain, which is responsible for a holistic perception such as that of remembering, is more developed in men, and the left brain, which is responsible for specifying details from the memory, is more developed in women. By the way, a fool is someone who has neither wisdom nor understanding, and both of their sexual organs are covered, hence – “stupid” in wisdom and understanding.) After all, “a woman to her sister” was said about the rings of the Mishkan, and it is difficult to distinguish between a female and a woman, since the rings are like “women who are purified.” Moreover, it is not clear to the Sages that an androgynous person is a being in itself despite the physical sexual difference between male and female. And if that is not convincing, the question can also be asked about a person who has undergone a sex change and has a literal “hole” below.
But the main question is – if I define the person in front of me as a woman, do the sages have the halachic authority to define him or her differently?
If I want to sleep with a “feminine” person who has a male genitalia, and I define him as “female,” according to my philosophical considerations, do I legally have to listen to the sages of my generation, who say that he is considered male?
Moreover, if there is a mitzvah to marry, as some of the rabbis write, am I obligated to marry someone I define as female, and rabbis today define him as male, if otherwise I would not have married at all?
Who determines which way death is determined – according to the heart or the brain – scientists or sages? And should I listen to the sages of my generation if I think differently from a scientific understanding?
Again, I have no evidence that certain gay men’s brains resemble those of women or clear lines of “feminine” behavior. But is this relevant to individual decisions, assuming rabbis rule otherwise?
And more – if I think of myself as a male, am I allowed to “discourage” someone who thinks of me as a female? Or is that his commandment? Am I not allowed to be active and help someone who has a different opinion than me? Am I allowed to donate food to the poor under rabbinical kosher if I am strict about Badatz?
Thank you very much and congratulations on your work!
Ofir