Q&A: Love in Maimonides’ Thought
Love in Maimonides’ Thought
Question
It is well known and widely stated that when Maimonides wrote about love (at least in some places), he did not mean love as an emotion but love as rationality—that is, recognition of the obligation a person has toward his fellow, or in this case toward God. In the series of classes on faith, in the second lesson, you said that this kind of love applies toward anything, not only toward God—for example, children. Likewise, you were asked there about love of a woman, whether something like this applies there too, and you argued that it does. I would be glad to hear how. How can a person feel obligation toward a woman he does not know at all (at least in the first months of the relationship) and who is not connected to him by blood relation? Love of this kind must begin with emotional love, or what the Rabbi called “desire.” I would be glad to hear whether that is indeed correct, and if not, what the plain meaning really is.
Thanks.
Answer
First, I’m not sure it’s that simple. When I say this, many people usually argue with me.
The plain meaning is just what it sounds like: wanting to build a home with her, feeling committed, and entering into a binding contract. Are there not plenty of couples who did not marry on the basis of love? In the Haredi world, certainly in its more conservative parts, that is always the case.
Discussion on Answer
Maybe with God this is true, from the fact that he wrote “more than this.”
But with a woman it sounds very “desire-driven.”
And what is the proper love?
That one should love God with a very great, exceeding, intense love, until his soul is bound up in the love of God and he is constantly obsessed with it, like one lovesick, whose mind is never free from love of that woman and who is always preoccupied with her, whether sitting, whether rising, and even while eating and drinking. More than this, the love of God should be in the hearts of His lovers, who are constantly preoccupied with it, as He commanded us: with all your heart and with all your soul. And this is what Solomon said by way of metaphor: “For I am sick with love,” and the entire Song of Songs is a metaphor for this matter.
But if the Haredim do it this way, then they are probably right and everything I said is null and void.
Not long ago, a book by Monica Mazar came out on this issue
https://shalempress.co.il/shop/democratic-thought/%D7%90%D7%94%D7%91%D7%94-%D7%91%D7%A9%D7%9C%D7%99%D7%98%D7%94-%D7%9E%D7%95%D7%93%D7%9C-%D7%AA%D7%91%D7%95%D7%A0%D7%99-%D7%9C%D7%90%D7%94%D7%91%D7%94-%D7%A8%D7%95%D7%9E%D7%A0%D7%98%D7%99%D7%AA/