Q&A: The Blessing over Commandments in Betrothal and Divorce
The Blessing over Commandments in Betrothal and Divorce
Question
Have a good week, Rabbi,
it is written in Maimonides, in the Laws of Marriage:
3:30 [23] Anyone who betroths a woman—whether personally or through an agent—must recite a blessing before the betrothal, either he or his agent, and only afterward betroth her, just as blessings are recited before all commandments.
Accordingly, why do we not also recite a blessing over divorce, just as one recites a blessing over all commandments? (According to Maimonides, there is a positive commandment regarding divorce in his book.)
Best regards,
Answer
It is not clear whether this is really a positive commandment in the sense that when one does it, one fulfills a commandment. It could also be interpreted as a legal permission device (for the woman), in which case there is nothing to bless over. For example, from the fact that we recite a blessing over ritual slaughter, the later authorities infer that it is not merely a legal permission but also a commandment.
Indeed, from the wording of Sefer HaChinukh at the end of the commandment of divorce, it sounds like it is in fact a commandment, since he writes that failure to do it can even involve neglect of a positive commandment. I wrote about this in a “Good Measure” article for the portion of Ki Teitzei, 5767.
I assume there is a simple rationale not to recite a blessing over such a sad commandment—at least not the standard blessing over commandments, but perhaps “the True Judge.” Clearly, breaking up a home is not the will of the Holy One, blessed be He.
Discussion on Answer
In Maimonides it is counted as a separate commandment. In his view, two details of the same commandment are counted as one commandment (see Principle Seven, 11, 12, and elsewhere).
“Clearly, breaking up a home is not the will of the Holy One, blessed be He.” How do you know?
By the same token, one could relate to divorce as redemption… Imagine if there were a prohibition against divorcing.
It has nothing to do with what you or I think. The Sages are the ones who instituted the blessings over commandments, and they themselves said that when one divorces his wife, even the altar sheds tears over him, and other such statements. So even if you think there is no problem with it, the Sages who instituted the blessings think there is, and therefore they did not institute a blessing.
Maybe… peace in the home is certainly an important value in the words of the Sages.
But in any case, even the betrothal blessing, from which the questioner made the comparison—the Beit Yosef in section 34 takes it to be a general blessing over the holiness of Israel, and not a blessing over commandments in the simple sense, for several reasons.
By the way, there is also no blessing in halitzah.
I’m surprised not to see answers based on sources. Rashba, responsum 18, said that there is no blessing over an act that is sometimes a transgression (since sometimes men divorce women without cause). I would like to see other sources that discuss this question.
I thought of another possible explanation: the commandment is that if, and only if, the man and woman are in a relationship, then it must be under betrothal. That fits the view of Sefer HaChinukh that someone who divorces without a writ thereby neglects a positive commandment, and it also explains why no blessing is recited, because the beginning of the commandment was at the betrothal, and the divorce is only its continuation.