Q&A: Prohibition of Physical Contact
Prohibition of Physical Contact
Question
Hello Rabbi,
I wanted to ask: my wife and I are traveling to France to go skiing.
We booked one instructor there for both of us together to learn the sport, and the question is whether, if the instructor is a woman, there is a problem if during the lesson it’s necessary to give a hand and ski together with the instructor, etc. And likewise the other way around: if the instructor is a man, is that a problem for my wife?
In short, does the exemption of someone being occupied with his work apply here, and does that exemption apply to us as well?
Thank you very much.
Answer
In principle, yes (there is no prohibition). But if you feel that forbidden thoughts are arising in you, then there is a problem.
Discussion on Answer
Is it forbidden*?
Yes.
What prohibition is there regarding improper thoughts when she is not sexually forbidden to him?
- Why is she not sexually forbidden? 2. Improper thoughts are forbidden even if she is not sexually forbidden. See an overview here: https://ph.yhb.org.il/14-04-06/
1- To the best of my understanding, she is not forbidden to him by a prohibition. According to Maimonides, there is no Torah-level prohibition here (from “and keep yourself from every evil thing”); rather, it is only a pious practice. That is what emerges from his commentary on the Mishnah, and it fits with his wording in chapter 21 of the laws of forbidden relations. (Unless she is a married woman. But here there is an additional question about the prohibition of a married woman and the parameters of marriage among gentiles.)
2- Even the rabbinic prohibition, to the best of my understanding, applies only when one deliberately draws himself into such thoughts, but not to automatic thoughts. That is also the view of the “Ezer Mikodesh.”
There are many mistakes in Peninei Halakha that you cited. The most prominent is that it brought this as involving the prohibition of “do not stray,” based on the Talmud in Berakhot, which is only aggadic material. To the best of my knowledge, according to Maimonides (and Sefer HaChinukh following him), “do not stray” was not said about sexual thoughts. And even according to Rabbenu Yona and other medieval authorities (Rishonim), who say that this does refer to sexual thoughts, that is specifically regarding someone sexually forbidden to him.
And if I’m a man and the instructor is a man and it gives me improper thoughts, is that a problem?