exertion

Hello.
I don't know if you remember this, but a few weeks ago I met with you on Zoom to discuss the process of repentance that I plan to go through in the foreseeable future.
During the meeting, I presented to you some of the whims I had about the majority of the religious public in Israel, with on one side the closed-off Haredim, on the other side religious Zionism, which I find difficult to accept based on the mystical and racist perception of Rabbi Kook (its founding father), and in the middle of the body of the Chief Rabbinate, which, needless to say, is controversial.
I am currently at a key point in my young life when I successfully graduated from high school and have neither the army nor any service role on my horizon, literally a blank slate.
And I think to myself, struggling between different ideas and debating whether the circumstances that led me to make the decision to go to the Netivot Olam yeshiva are the right ones.
The main motivation within me is the knowledge that this and nothing else is what has separated Jew from Gentile for thousands of years, and a Jewish flag or a Jewish army is no substitute for the unity of our Torah.
But is that enough? Is tradition and dependence on the historical Jewish people enough for me to take upon myself in my life the yoke of the Kingdom of Heaven?
 
And another, perhaps minor, concern – the nature of the meeting.
I know that this is a yeshiva for those who are rehabilitating and therefore one of its actions is to disconnect those who enter it from the secular world, but it is important for me to state that I am not tired of the secular world and that as a film student, some of the finest works to which I was exposed were directed by avowed atheists, as well as other pieces of art, music albums, etc.
Is this a legitimate concern, or will the halakhic lifestyle that the yeshiva will shape actually suit those moments of mundaneness that I experience every day?