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Is it ethical to address a person in a different way than they want to?

שו"ת › Is it ethical to address a person in a different way than they want to?
0 תן קול הסר קול
שאל לפני 3 שנים

I will explain the case:
There is a man in the group I am in who wants to be addressed as feminine/plural, and in the meantime I have been going along with it for several reasons:
A. Even if he is a victim of progressive trolling, he should still not be harmed by what he defines as harm, as he defines it.
B. I didn't want to be seen as a serial offender.
On the other hand, it feels like terrorism to me and hurts me because it makes me cooperate with something that goes against my views and it confuses me to treat a man as a woman or as a man. It feels like they're making fun of him, but what's sad is that it's completely serious.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

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0 Answers
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מיכי צוות ענה לפני 3 שנים
I don't think there's an obligation to act the way he thinks or wants. He hurts you as much as you hurt him. If it's not very important to you, you can of course consider him, but it's really not an obligation. The trolling in our circles is not only that it's demanded, but that anyone who doesn't act that way is considered immoral and offensive. This is especially true if he demands to be addressed in the plural. It's really ridiculous and I wouldn't do it. Regarding the feminine, there's some basis for it, if we decide that addressing is determined by gender and not by sex. But why address him in the plural?! Even if he demanded that I see him as the Messiah or Napoleon, I wouldn't do it.

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