Q&A: Contraception
Contraception
Question
Hello Rabbi,
I got married some time ago, and I would like to ask about the major taboo surrounding contraception from the standpoint of wasting seed (and not from the standpoint of the commandment to be fruitful and multiply). When people ask a halakhic decisor today which contraceptive methods may be used, the options are: pills, an intrauterine device, and a diaphragm (usually with spermicide). This is generally also the ranking of these methods from a halakhic standpoint (except for Rabbi Moshe Feinstein, who specifically forbids an IUD). From my studies at the university, and from more general reading about contraception in preparation for marriage, a more complex picture emerges regarding the ease with which these methods are treated. Taking pills has extensive side effects (physical and emotional); intrauterine devices are of two types—hormonal ones, which are similar to pills except somewhat more targeted, and those that create a kind of chronic inflammation and lead to bleeding and even pregnancy alongside the device, which then becomes dangerous. Of all the contraceptive methods mentioned above, the diaphragm is the most user-friendly physically and in the long term, but go out and see what people actually do: the common joke is that it’s better to use this method when you want to get pregnant… In contrast to these methods, there is the condom, which has been discussed at length, and although there are those who permit it (the Achiezer, of course), you will not find anyone today who would rule this way for an ordinary couple, without unusual and complicated medical problems, who simply does not want to stuff his helpmate with hormones on a daily basis.
I would be glad to hear (read) the Rabbi’s opinion on the matter,
Thank you very much
Answer
First, I apologize for not having answered until now. For some reason, it slipped my mind.
As for the matter itself, it is hard for me to answer without knowing the medical dimensions involved. If there is indeed a real danger, then clearly that is a significant consideration. But many times the assessment of these dangers is exaggerated, and sometimes these are only sensitivities of women who are afraid of the risks, rather than a significant likelihood of harm—like some of the movements of health-oriented veganism and the like.
If there is a significant risk, then perhaps there is room to permit more strained options, but only where the need to prevent pregnancy is substantial. One must understand that the more lenient a step one takes, the more substantial the justifications need to be. To the best of my judgment, a condom is roughly like spilling seed outside, and therefore a very serious justification is required, if it can be justified at all. True, regarding the very act of emitting seed there is room to say that it is not a Torah-level prohibition, and even there people exaggerate quite a bit. Bottom line: I would very much try to avoid a condom except in a case of very great need. It is hard to state anything more definitive beyond this general comment.