Dr. Michael Avraham: Conversation Has Become a Serious Problem! + Practical Tools for Better Communication #Episode 130 – Derech HaMachshava with Shiran Raz
This transcript was produced automatically using artificial intelligence. There may be inaccuracies in the transcribed content and in speaker identification.
🔗 Link to the transcript on Sofer.AI
Table of Contents
- Opening the conversation and introducing the guest
- Diagnosis: the problem is not style but the absence of arguments
- Cause versus solution: educating for systematic thinking and tools for thinking
- The Golan and Rabin example: two independent questions become two camps
- The conversion example and the judge from Ashdod: the complexity of many questions disappears into two camps
- Overload, emotion, and lack of mental space: the host’s claim and the response about responsibility
- The feedback loop: enlisting every aspect to one position turns the other side into “evil or stupid”
- Facts as a substitute for arguments, fake news, and unconscious biases
- The judicial reform, lack of trust, and the veil of ignorance
- Practical exercise: stop, formulate an argument, and defend the opposing position
- Stereotypes, profiling, and “these and those”: legitimacy versus truth
- Silencing, digital media, and cautious optimism about change
- Conclusion and invitation to continue
Summary
General overview
The host presents a conversation about public discourse and communication on social media and in private life with Dr. and Rabbi Michael Abraham, and he argues that anger, rudeness, and hatred are only symptoms, while the core problem is the absence of argumentative thinking and the absence of listening to arguments. He describes how people form a position from the gut and then recruit arguments to support it, which creates dichotomies, delegitimization of the other side, and loss of trust in democratic mechanisms. The host emphasizes the role of emotion, overload, and pressure in people’s lack of availability for thinking, and asks about practical steps for change. He proposes systematic training in formulating arguments and in the ability to seriously present the opposing position, in order to arrive at a firm stance that is still aware of the complexity.
Opening the conversation and introducing the guest
The host describes the topic as an important, interesting, and quite complicated one that takes place both on social media and in private and family forums, and introduces Dr. and Rabbi Michael Abraham as a PhD in physics, a lecturer at Bar-Ilan University, someone engaged in philosophy, science, and Jewish thought, and the author of over 30 books. The host invites listeners to join the Telegram discussion channel and mentions her “detox days” from the internet and that she removed the television from her home, while Abraham asks to be called “Miki.”
Diagnosis: the problem is not style but the absence of arguments
Abraham states that anger, hatred, and rudeness are not the essence of the problem but only outward expressions, and that he himself is not bothered by curses or insults as long as there is listening and weighing of arguments. He argues that the central problem is that the discourse is not based on arguments but on gut feeling, and that even when arguments are presented, they are drafted after the fact to justify an emotional conclusion that was decided in advance.
Cause versus solution: educating for systematic thinking and tools for thinking
The host argues that not every person is capable of reaching a level of discourse where they can present an argument, and that there may be an “empty space” in terms of ability. Abraham agrees in principle, but distinguishes between diagnosis, causality, and solutions. He argues that discussion circles that are “too external” will not advance society, and that tools for systematic thinking need to be taught already in schools and continued in academia. He adds that universities and their faculties also “work from the gut” and do not model argumentative thinking.
The Golan and Rabin example: two independent questions become two camps
Abraham describes a sign that said “Rabin has no mandate to return the Golan,” and explains that it can be interpreted both as a substantive political-security question and as an ethical question of political mandate. He argues that two independent questions should have produced four groups within public opinion, but in practice only two groups appeared, because people first decided from the gut whether they were for or against the agreement and then recruited the moral question in the same direction.
The conversion example and the judge from Ashdod: the complexity of many questions disappears into two camps
Abraham describes a ruling by a rabbinical judge in Ashdod who invalidated conversions performed by the state conversion system on the grounds that there was no genuine acceptance of the commandments and that the judges in that system were “wicked,” and he recounts that the Supreme Rabbinical Court upheld it, causing a public uproar. He argues that after a while it became clear that the Haredim supported the ruling and the Religious Zionist camp opposed it, even though, in his words, there were “twelve independent questions” in the matter that should have produced “four thousand groups” of positions. Yet again, only two positions emerged, because the gut had decided in advance and the arguments served it. He notes that he himself thought some of the judge’s claims were correct regarding the problematic nature of the conversions, but he did not agree with sweeping invalidation nor with calling the judges “wicked,” and he emphasizes that the public discourse did not do the work of clarification and weighing.
Overload, emotion, and lack of mental space: the host’s claim and the response about responsibility
The host compares thinking to a psychological resource and argues that in times of pressure, war, and economic strain, people tend toward dichotomous certainty and are less capable of a process of doubt and inquiry. Abraham says the psychological question is not his area of expertise, but he argues that simply making the diagnosis is already the beginning of a solution, and that distress does not exempt a person from responsibility, because the lack of thinking is both produced by these hardships and also produces them.
The feedback loop: enlisting every aspect to one position turns the other side into “evil or stupid”
Abraham describes a mechanism in which every aspect of a discussion is perceived as supporting one’s own position, and therefore the other side necessarily appears to be either stupid or evil, which eliminates any desire to listen and increases frustration and violence. He argues that recognizing that both sides have arguments and different considerations returns the disagreement to a framework of persuasion and democratic mechanisms, and reduces the collapse of trust in institutions.
Facts as a substitute for arguments, fake news, and unconscious biases
The host argues that people, especially educated people, flood discussions with information instead of building a relevant argument, and Abraham agrees, saying that in “ninety to ninety-five percent” of cases, the facts that are brought are not relevant to the discussion. He gives examples of statistics about Black people in the United States, advancement of women, and Mizrahim on the Supreme Court, and explains that numbers in themselves are not an argument without examining variables and relevant candidacies. He adds that deliberate distortion of information is serious, but unconscious biases are even more dangerous because people are convinced they are fair while speaking nonsense. He illustrates this with the claim of political bias in academia, which can take the form of denying jobs to conservatives from a sincere belief that they are simply “idiots.”
The judicial reform, lack of trust, and the veil of ignorance
Abraham describes how, in the discourse about judicial reform, both camps are effectively saying that there are problems in the legal system, but they differ over whether the reform is excessive or necessary. He argues that both sides agree about “half a glass” but look at it differently. The host argues that the disagreement stems mainly from personal distrust of those leading the reform, and Abraham agrees that part of it is personal, but argues that this is not necessarily just “from the gut”; it can be a legitimate consideration when there is concern about unfair use of power. He criticizes an automatic application of the “veil of ignorance” in the style of Rawls, and argues that in practice the discussion also relates to the people themselves, and that examples from other countries are irrelevant without similar conditions of trust.
Practical exercise: stop, formulate an argument, and defend the opposing position
Abraham describes courses in critical thinking in which he gave a group an article that would “make their guts churn” and asked them to formulate the assumptions and the conclusion, and then formulate arguments in favor of the thesis. He says the exercise was difficult but created a habit of stopping, taking a deep breath, systematic analysis, and being able to write both a supporting talkback and an opposing talkback before deciding. He also suggests using friends from the other camp, people whose intelligence one respects, in order to test arguments, and admits that this is difficult for him too, and that conversation across camps requires “gritted teeth.”
Stereotypes, profiling, and “these and those”: legitimacy versus truth
Abraham recounts that at a march against live animal shipments people were surprised to see a “religious guy” marching, and he uses this to show how stereotypes may be statistically based yet create a self-reinforcing closed mindset. He cites the Talmudic text in Eruvin about Beit Hillel and Beit Shammai, and explains that according to Rabbi Yosef Karo, “these and those are the words of the living God” means that both positions are legitimate, but the truth is one, and the way to reach it is by first presenting the other side’s view and seriously weighing it. He distinguishes between profiling, which is sometimes necessary and statistically justified, and applying it to every individual without justification, and gives examples from opposition to Torah study for women, security checks in airports, and the integration of women into combat units, while arguing that one must weigh systemic cost against individual cases.
Silencing, digital media, and cautious optimism about change
The host argues that digital media and social networks intensify dichotomy, and cites research from the United States showing that breaking partisan identity down into specific events increased agreement. Abraham says it is possible to get people to listen and be persuaded through Sisyphean work, and that micro-level change by each person in their own small sphere may accumulate into macro-level change. He ends by saying that people are not only intellectual creatures, but they can “manage” their own psychology in order to allow argumentative thinking.
Conclusion and invitation to continue
The host sums up by saying she enjoyed the conversation and asks to save additional topics for future episodes, ending with an invitation to listen to episodes of the podcast “The Way of Thought” on the distribution channels. She suggests getting in touch for lectures on creative thinking, innovation, entrepreneurship, strategy, and meditation, and mentions the contact address: office at shiranraz dot com.
Full Transcript
[Speaker A] Hello and welcome. Today we’re going to talk about one of the important, interesting, and fairly complicated and tangled topics, which is discourse, conversation, communication between us—on social media, yes, but also in private and family forums. To understand how we do this, what the problem is, and how to move forward on a practical level, I invited a special guest, one that you also asked for, one of the most brilliant minds in Israel today, Dr. and Rabbi Michael Abraham. He has a PhD in physics, and he also teaches at Bar-Ilan University. He deals with philosophy, science, and Jewish thought, and he’s also written over 30 books. So this is also a chance to tell you that if you haven’t joined our Telegram discussion channel—where it’s really possible to express yourselves in a good, proper, fruitful, enriching way—join now. So I wish you pleasant listening. Good morning to the rabbi and doctor, even though you hate titles, Michael Abraham. Good morning. Will you allow me to call you Miki during the conversation?
[Rabbi Michael Abraham] Absolutely, preferably.
[Speaker A] Excellent. So I don’t know if there’s any topic you can’t talk about—it was a little hard for me to choose a topic, so I got help from you too—and I also think it’s very important for people in general to understand one of, I think, the traps that leads to the anger and deep hatred between us, and that’s discourse. Anyone who goes online—I can tell you that sometimes I take detox days from the internet, detox days from media, detox days from communication. I even threw the television out of the house a year ago. So where do you want to start? What’s the first point from which we should talk about our shallow discourse?
[Rabbi Michael Abraham] Maybe as a framework, before getting into the analysis of the issue, I just want to focus the problem. I think that usually people focus the problem on anger, rudeness, hatred, lack of listening, and things like that. In my view, all of those are symptoms—that is, forms of expression, style, and so on. In my eyes all those are symptoms, and they’re not really important, they’re trivialities. As far as I’m concerned, let people curse me, revile me, insult me, hate me—it doesn’t bother me in the slightest. What those trivial things express is the truly important thing, and that is that people don’t listen to my arguments. Meaning, if you hate me and curse me and do whatever you want—but listen to my arguments, weigh them properly, and form a position—then hate me afterwards, before that, whatever you want. Speak rudely, mock me, call me a Nazi, everything’s fine. Those are not the points that bother me at all. It does interfere because if you do that, then it’s harder for the other side to respond substantively, so on the technical level it can interfere. But people constantly talk about the style of discourse and the aspects I mentioned here as if they are the essence of the problem, and that’s not it. That is absolutely not the essence of the problem. The problem, in my view, is that in the discourse between us there are no arguments. You don’t raise arguments, and you don’t listen to the arguments of the other side. It simply isn’t based on arguments; it’s based on the gut. Everyone speaks from their gut, and if they do raise some argument at all, they draft it in service of the conclusion that comes from their gut. So the arguments play no role in the discourse, and if I have to put my finger on the focal point of the problem—that’s the focal point of the problem.
[Speaker A] Okay, but here I think you’re going a few steps ahead, because it’s like saying: once you already have a driver’s license, then pay attention when the road is wet and you’re approaching a bus stop where children are getting off—maybe pay more attention. But the person went through a prior process: theory, driving test, lessons. And when someone can even come to a conversation at the level of understanding where they can present an argument—I think there may be an empty space there. Not every person is capable of coming and managing a real conversation. I mean, I think it goes beyond intention. That’s what I’m trying to say—where is the root where this begins? Because if I express an opinion that, by mistake in this period of the hostages, might sound to someone like I didn’t say “release the hostages now,” that’s it—everything shuts down right there.
[Rabbi Michael Abraham] Right. Look, I think I agree with you in principle, I just disagree about the order of things. Okay? Because I think the point I made is the diagnosis of the problem. What you’re talking about is the question of what caused this problem, and maybe also how to improve the situation or solve it. But I don’t think—I mean, let’s say I’m not trying right now to deal with digital media or the structure of the networks; I’m not the person for that. Even if I could do something about it, and even if I had well-formed ideas, which I don’t really, I still don’t think that’s the real diagnosis of the problem. That’s the world we live in, whether we like it or not. So in my view it’s important to pay attention to the influence of those aspects of our world on the problem. But when I make a diagnosis of the problem, I think the diagnosis is what I said before: people do not use arguments. That’s the Archimedean point. Now you can ask why they don’t use arguments, how to improve the situation, what to do about social media—but all of those are questions belonging to the next level. In my view this is the foundational level. First of all, this is the problematic fact. After that we can discuss what causes it.
[Speaker A] Okay, so let’s move forward with the first level, where you’re basically saying that people don’t use arguments. That’s a fact you can’t ignore. The discourse is very shallow, the discourse is very violent. I do think that the culture of discourse strongly affects the arguments as well, and emotions and feeling very much improve—or lock, or add to, or cut off—the ability to make arguments. Because in the end, you think we’re more rational people; I think we’re more emotional people. But we’ll get to that later in the conversation. So what do we do according to how you see it, aside from the fact that you’ve now thrown a bomb onto the table?
[Rabbi Michael Abraham] I don’t think it’s such a huge bomb. It seems to me that most people, if they stop and think for a moment, will agree—at least I think so. If only they listen to even that, because usually we don’t listen. But I think there are two main things. First of all, over the last two years, with all the disputes and polemics in our society, I’ve participated in quite a few meetings and dialogues with various groups, including leading figures in some of those groups. And somehow they always talked about how to moderate the discourse, how to make it more constructive, and so on. I told them that they were talking on too external a level. I think discussion circles in Rabin Square, sitting there in a tent and discussing baseless hatred in light of Jewish sources or Hindu sources, won’t take us anywhere. What’s needed is to accustom people, to clarify the importance, to accustom them and give them tools for systematic thinking, for thinking with arguments. Of course this has to begin in the schools. It has to continue in the universities, which also don’t provide those tools. Universities, including their faculties, are among the greatest people working from the gut. They are the last people to voice arguments in today’s discourse. Just yesterday I had a stormy argument in the Bar-Ilan faculty organization, where they announced a strike together with the Histadrut, and by the way I am sharply opposed to the government, but I think that was an outrage. It’s none of their business, and everyone is simply working from the gut. Now it’s pretty amazing when you think about professors—people who excel in their fields, right? Not stupid people, at least some of them. I don’t think every professor is a genius, but overall it’s an intelligent population. And you see—there’s nobody to talk to. You might as well talk to the wall. So I really think that the skill of systematic thinking, first of all, has to be taught; second, we shouldn’t think that someone with higher education has that skill, because usually they don’t. And the second thing is, of course, educating people to actually do it—not just giving them the tools, which provide a skill, but educating them to use it. Now that education, again, I don’t know how much influence I can have on the school system and certainly not on academic education, but I try, for example, on my website. My main goal there isn’t the content at all; my main goal is really the method. The method of how to take an issue and try to deal with it in an orderly way. And deliberately I always make sure—even though I genuinely think this way too—I always make sure to present both sides, even on an issue where I have a clear position. And many times people get angry and say to me, what do you mean, are you with us or against us? And to me that’s part of the very point I’m trying to address. And for some reason it doesn’t happen. So I think that in my own little corner of God’s world, I am trying a bit to advance this. If there are more people who do it, all the better. A global solution, other than some kind of change in the education system—and there too you would need to train teachers, the teachers themselves need to be moved into this mode of thinking and relating—I don’t know. But I can give a few examples or a few basic points that will both illustrate the issue and sharpen it, and help a person see where he himself falls into it.
[Speaker A] I’d be happy to hear that.
[Rabbi Michael Abraham] Let me give maybe an example, if I may. I once traveled on a bus—an example I’ve already used more than once—and this was during the Rabin government, sometime in the 1990s. And as usual, a discussion came up about whether to make an agreement with the Syrians and give them the Golan, and so on. I saw a car below through the window with a sign that said, “Rabin has no mandate to return the Golan.” Then I asked myself whether I could know anything about the views of the car owner. Right wing, left wing, for the agreement, against the agreement? The answer I gave myself was no. You can’t know. Why not? Because the statement that Rabin has no mandate to return the Golan can be interpreted on at least two levels. One level is the substantive one—political, security, ideological, religious, whatever—whether it is right to make such an agreement or not. That’s one question. But in the wording, “does Rabin have a mandate to return the Golan,” not whether he is doing the right thing, apparently that wasn’t the discussion. The discussion was an ethical question. Political ethics. A person who came to power—yes, who was elected on the basis of a certain agenda, presented it to the public, received the votes, and was elected prime minister. He comes into office and reaches different conclusions. “What you see from here you don’t see from there,” as a later prime minister said. So what should he do? Should he go back to the public and say, listen, I changed my mind, let’s hold elections on my new agenda, I’ll try to persuade you, and if I succeed then I’ve received the mandate again, and if not, choose what seems right to you? That’s one possibility. The second possibility says you can’t go back to the public on every issue. In the end, the person has a broader perspective, he was elected to be prime minister, he has information that many of us don’t, and he has to make decisions. He was given trust, and on that basis he should make the decisions. That’s a question in governing ethics; it has nothing whatsoever to do with what you think about an agreement with Syria or returning the Golan or not. It’s a completely independent question. Now in my view both of these are substantial questions. Neither has a simple answer. Not either one. There are two sides to each of them. How many groups would I expect to find in the population in this debate?
[Speaker A] For and against.
[Rabbi Michael Abraham] For and against on two questions. Okay. Basic combinatorics says—but still—
[Speaker A] It could still be two groups. Just because there are two questions doesn’t necessarily mean it will split into more.
[Rabbi Michael Abraham] Four groups. Why? Two independent questions—it’s combinatorics. Okay. Two independent questions, each of which has two possible answers, should produce four groups in the population. One group says: Rabin has no moral mandate, although I’m in favor of this agreement. A second group says: he has a mandate and I’m in favor. He has no mandate and I’m against. He has a mandate and I’m against. Right? Four groups. Assuming the questions are independent, and assuming that each question really has meaningful arguments both ways. Those are my two assumptions. Okay, and I think that’s true. I could even try to persuade people that there are good arguments on both sides of each of the two questions. So there should have been four groups. How many were there in practice?
[Speaker A] Two groups.
[Rabbi Michael Abraham] Two, of course. Those who were against the agreement also said what Rabin was doing was immoral, and those who were in favor also said it was moral. The diagonal groups—I couldn’t locate them in the population. Maybe there were isolated individuals, but there wasn’t a group in the population saying, I’m against the agreement but he has a mandate, he was elected. Or the reverse: he has no mandate because that’s not what he was elected for, although I support the agreement. Those groups didn’t exist. Now in my eyes that is the clearest possible symptom of the problem I mentioned earlier. Why were there only those two groups? Because people are not willing to tie things to arguments. What people are really saying is: first of all, my gut tells me whether I’m for or against. And after I decide whether I’m for or against, I enlist all the arguments and all the levels of the discussion in the direction I wanted from the start. So if I’m against, then I say it’s also immoral, and it’s also forbidden politically and strategically, and whatever else you like. And if I’m in favor, then it’s also moral and so on. In other words, the arguments come after the gut has already spoken. The gut says where it should go, and then I enlist all the arguments in that direction. I don’t start from the arguments; I use the arguments. And that’s the root of the problem. Let me give you an even starker example.
[Speaker A] By the way, it’s interesting that you gave that example, because in the episode before you we expanded on exactly this topic of the Oslo Accords and talked about the evacuation of the Golan and what Rabin said about having changed his mind, so this connects directly to the previous episode.
[Rabbi Michael Abraham] Okay. Let me give you another example. Years ago there was some discussion that came up about conversion. There was a rabbinical judge in Ashdod, in the rabbinical court in Ashdod, who declared that all the conversions carried out by the state conversion system—at the time it was headed by Rabbi Druckman—were null and void. Why were they null and void? Because they did not truly require observance of the commandments; it was a kind of farce, a façade of commandment observance. And second, because of that, all the judges involved were wicked. Anyone who took part in the matter was wicked, and wicked judges, according to Jewish law, are unfit to judge, so there is no valid court, and a conversion is not valid without a court. That was his claim. It reached the Supreme Rabbinical Court, and they approved it. Then, of course, all hell broke loose and the debate was conducted at full force. And after the dust settled, the picture became very clear: all the Haredim were with him, and all the Religious Zionists were against him. Okay? In the end Rabbi Amar intervened there and changed the decision after all, but that was the picture. Now I sent a letter to Makor Rishon—usually I didn’t send letters there, but this was one of the few I did—and I said there: look, when I think about this issue for ten seconds, I don’t need to think longer than that, I answered there, I think, about twelve independent questions that you have to answer in order to form a position on this issue. Now when I say there are twelve independent questions, it’s the same assumptions as before: each question is independent of the others, and each has two serious sides. Now the combinatorics are a bit more complicated—there should be four thousand groups in the population. Groups, not four thousand people—four thousand different opinions. How many were there in the population? Two. Meaning there were those who answered yes to all twelve questions, and opposite them those who answered no to all twelve questions. That’s it. Where are the other 3,998 groups? Where did all the opinions disappear? And again, what happens? People decide whether they are for or against from the gut, and then enlist all levels of the discussion in the direction they prefer. Someone who thought he was against it because he was Haredi—so from his perspective he answered no to all the questions. Someone Religious Zionist who thought he was in favor—on all the questions he answered yes. Now I, as someone somewhat involved in rabbinic discourse and who also spoke with colleagues, quickly saw that in the real debate the matter was more complex. Regarding the twelve questions, many Religious Zionist rabbis, by the way, thought as I did—that the judge in Ashdod was right. I didn’t agree with him that the judges were wicked, and I don’t think it is right to invalidate all those conversions sweepingly, but I definitely think these were very problematic conversions; in my opinion many of them were not valid. And that’s that. I can explain it through the twelve questions, or more than that, clarify each one and ultimately reach the bottom line. But that didn’t happen in the public discourse. And again, why didn’t it happen? Because we do not build our positions on arguments. If we built our positions on arguments, then we would have had to say: look, Rabin does have a moral mandate, but I’m against it; or he doesn’t have a mandate, but I’m in favor. Now in the end you still need to weigh what matters more than what and reach the bottom line of what you actually think in the end. In the bottom line, I still have to be either for or against. But I arrive at that bottom line only after I go through all the aspects, form a position on each of them, and then try to weigh them or build from all of them some overall picture. That’s what almost nobody does. And on my website, at least, I try to take issues and do exactly that: to reach a position at the end, but to build that position only after trying to analyze the aspects, discuss each one as independently and as unbiasedly as I can. Sometimes that will take me here, sometimes there, and sometimes even during the discussion I’ll change my position from what my gut said at first glance—yes, I have a gut too, and not such a small one either. But I think if I have to put my finger on what the problem in Israel is today—it’s not the security problem, not the religious problem, not social solidarity, not anything else. The problem is this. The problem is that people do not think, and do not ground their positions in thinking at all.
[Speaker A] But look at what I’m hearing from what you said: basically, people naturally, when they hear some position or opinion or belief, work from the gut, and it’s comfortable for them to go to a dichotomous state of yes or no, black or white, and they don’t activate doubt in relation to that statement and begin some kind of internal inquiry process of for and against. Now that requires—thinking and inquiry require emotional, psychological, and intellectual resources. Not everyone is available for that. And I’ll give you the simplest example possible. When people are dieting—when you want to deal with not eating sweets—during a period when you’re more emotionally calm, you’ll be able to hold out and not pounce on sweets. During a period when you’re extremely stressed, you probably won’t be able to stay on the diet. What does that mean? That thinking, too, is a matter of availability, okay? So let’s assume, for the sake of argument, that the education system works properly. Let’s say parents raised their children well to make arguments. Let’s say that, okay? Obviously it doesn’t really work that way. When the country—I’m talking now about our small little patch, our little corner of God’s world, the State of Israel—most people spend many periods in states of war and pressure and very difficult situations, and people work very hard to pay a mortgage and chase, as they say, the shekel and make it to the tenth of the month. And basically you come with a request—sorry for using this word—that’s maybe a bit… I like saying the word chutzpah. Make an effort and think. But they don’t have the energy to think. So what do they do? They go to the easiest place, the gut. It’s the place of, okay, at least I can grab onto something certain. Human nature loves certainty; it has a hard time with uncertainty, even in thinking. So when we’re now talking, and those listening to us—okay?—you’re saying, listen, it makes no sense that one of the hardest problems in the State of Israel is that you don’t think. How do we actually put down the first milestone to help people like I described, for whom this is not their role and who don’t understand the importance, start rolling inward toward understanding the analysis of an argument? I mean, what’s the first milestone? What’s the first path they need to take, in your opinion?
[Rabbi Michael Abraham] I’ll tell you this. First of all, I completely agree. It’s like Maslow’s pyramid, you know—when a person is occupied with immediate distress, he doesn’t deal with big ideas and cool, systematic thinking about issues. But that question really ought to be directed to a psychologist, not to me. I’m not a psychologist, and I also don’t think a psychologist can really solve the problem, because I don’t think there’s some orderly top-down method, some general idea that will begin changing the situation. I do think that simply putting a finger on the point, clarifying the point, making the diagnosis I made earlier, is itself the beginning of a solution. Because even if people are in distress—look, people in distress also commit crimes, and we judge them for it. The fact that you’re in distress may be an argument for leniency in punishment, but it doesn’t exempt you from responsibility. And I claim the same in the public discourse. We all have our hardships, but we won’t emerge from them if we don’t learn to overcome this,
[Speaker A] To restrain ourselves.
[Rabbi Michael Abraham] And the lack of thinking is, first, a result of these hardships, but it also creates them. Let me show you, for example, a very interesting logical circle in this regard. When we think in the way I described earlier, then basically, in every issue, from our perspective, all the aspects lead in the direction I already think is right. Meaning I’m not willing to accept that aspects A, B, H, T, and Y are against me, and all the others are in my favor, and when I weigh them all I come out this way. No—every aspect from A to Z points in my direction. That it is forbidden to return the Golan, that the conversions are valid or not valid, even in things like that, or in our own issues and discussions. What happens in such a situation? What happens is that the other side thinks the same thing too. Now when I look at him, obviously he’s an idiot. Or evil. Because all the aspects say what I say. So if he says otherwise, he’s either an idiot or evil; there is no logical explanation for what he says. What happens as a result of that? As a result, it means there’s no point talking to him. There’s no point weighing his arguments, because he’s either an idiot or evil. Now you see what’s happening here—what’s called positive feedback. I assume that all the arguments point in my direction, and that itself builds that perception and sharpens my perception even more, because everyone else is an idiot and therefore their arguments are stupid. So I’m even more right, and therefore I listen even less, and then I’m also frustrated, and then I also go out into the streets and set tires on fire, in the best case. And I think there is tremendous contempt for the intellectual aspect of this process. We go too quickly to the sociological aspect, the emotional one, the distress, as you said earlier. So first of all I raise a red flag: don’t let yourselves off so easily. True, we all have hardships, but in some of them we are to blame. We are to blame for not being able to see that there really is a complex picture. If I see that the picture is complex, then even if I have one position or another about a hostage deal, someone else has a different position. I won’t agree with him, and I’ll go out to demonstrations, and I’ll fight for my position, and I’ll explain it, and I’ll demand that the government resign or not resign—each person according to his own view—but I’ll understand that the person standing opposite me also has a position. I don’t agree with it, and I think he is harmful, and it’s terrible, but I understand that he is not evil and not an idiot, and likewise he can understand the same about me. And then it seems to me that, with all the firmness—and I’m in favor of firmness—but, one moment,
[Speaker A] Miki, I didn’t hear you—you disappeared for a moment.
[Rabbi Michael Abraham] I’m saying that I’m in favor of firmness. I’m a decisive person. But that firmness is firmness because I truly believe in my position, not because I think there is no other side, okay? Not because I can’t understand how the other side could possibly reach a different conclusion unless he’s evil or stupid. And today we all think that about one another—that the other side is either evil or stupid—and therefore the discussion cannot even be conducted on the level of arguments. So notice: we begin from this failure, where the gut speaks, emotion and feeling speak, arguments are recruited to serve emotion, and now how could emotion not dominate? After all, the other side is either evil or idiotic, so I have no reason to talk to him in terms of arguments. So this feeds back and entrenches me even further in the same position, and of course the same thing happens on the other side. And therefore, in my view, I’m not going in the psychological direction—not because it isn’t important, it is important, but because I have no control over it and no knowledge about it. And even those who do have that knowledge, in my opinion, won’t be able to deal with it. The hardships—I don’t know how to treat them. The hardships are objective. We are in a difficult situation here, and the disputes involve human life, they involve our fate here. The hardships will not disappear. All we can do is try to see how we live with them or manage them, and not allow them to take over our thinking. And if that happens, it seems to me that the hardships themselves will also lessen. They will lessen because I will understand that there is a disagreement here, and for disagreement there are democratic mechanisms, there are mechanisms of debate, there are mechanisms for how we manage discourse between us. Today there is no trust in the mechanisms, and that too is a result of the point I mentioned earlier. There is no trust in the mechanisms because you do not see the other side as legitimate. Now if he is not legitimate, then even if the mechanism does what it has the right and authority to do—so what? It is doing something suicidal, foolish, and evil. So I do not accept the rules of the game. Meaning, notice how this one seemingly detached and intellectual point radiates into all the most existential, most emotional, most difficult problems we have on the ground. And those problems, in my opinion, will not be solved on a psychologist’s couch and not in a discussion tent in Rabin Square. Where then? We begin first of all with a person’s self-education. How do you form a position within yourself? If you yourself see that there are sides here and there, and you form a position, and you have a position on one side—be firm, fight for it, everything’s fine. But if you do it that way, suddenly you see that the other side is not necessarily evil or idiotic. He has other considerations, and he weighs the considerations differently. And then you basically say: okay, then let’s try to persuade. Now I can’t just fight anymore—fighting won’t help. He has a position; he’s not evil or stupid. So let’s try to persuade, and maybe we’ll succeed and maybe not. If not, there are institutions, there are mechanisms for how to handle such conflicts. That’s how it should work. And in my view—maybe it sounds very simple—but I think it’s actually a very big novelty compared to what people think, because people attribute everything to sociology and psychology, while I claim that philosophy…