Q&A: Prayer Rite
Prayer Rite
Question
Hello, honorable Rabbi!
I wanted to consult the Rabbi. I have been praying for more than 10 years in a good, high-quality community with an excellent rabbi, and they pray there according to the Ashkenaz rite. I am of Yemenite origin. My children have grown up, and I am wondering whether to give up my ancestors’ tradition and not move to a synagogue that prays according to the Yemenite rite because of the quality of the community, or to give up the community and move synagogues. Or is it proper to combine them—for example, in the evening to pray with the Ashkenaz-rite community and on Sabbath morning according to the Yemenite rite? Wouldn’t the two rites confuse the children?
I would be happy for your advice on the matter.
Best regards, Noam
Answer
If you prefer this community, I see no reason at all to leave it. True, nowadays people have the practice of preserving the custom of their ancestors, but originally the binding custom is the local custom, and at present your place is the Ashkenazi synagogue.
Now we have to discuss what exactly is meant: if you pray in the Ashkenazi synagogue according to their custom but in principle maintain the Yemenite custom and rite, I think there is no problem at all. You pray according to the local custom, and that is always what is done. There are synagogues that pray in a mixed rite depending on the prayer leader. But if you want to change your family’s prayer rite entirely, it is worth doing annulment of vows just to be on the safe side. I mean, of course, your annulment of vows, because in the past you prayed according to your ancestors’ custom. The children have no prior custom, unless they were already older and had prayed according to the Yemenite rite.
Discussion on Answer
That’s a question for an educator or psychologist, not for me. For my part, I don’t think there should be any problem. You explain to them that these are two different rites, and over time they’ll get used to it. “Identity confusion” sounds really exaggerated to me. Is the exact wording you say in prayer really your identity?!
Thank you very much for the answer.
The Rabbi didn’t address my suggestion of combining the rites: to pray in the evening with the Ashkenaz-rite community and in the morning according to the Yemenite rite. My main question is whether this might create confusion between the rites, perhaps even identity confusion for the children? {My wife is not of Yemenite origin}