Q&A: Is Masturbation Moral?
Is Masturbation Moral?
Question
Hello Rabbi,
I wanted to ask whether, in the Rabbi’s opinion, there is a moral problem with masturbation. (Leaving aside Jewish law, which prohibits it.)
Thank you
Answer
I think not. One could have seen it as something akin to an accessory to murder, since it is hard to draw a line as to when a drop of semen is considered a human being, but it seems to me that before the drop fertilizes an egg, that is an exaggerated way of looking at it. Still, in a high dose or frequency (and certainly in the case of addiction), it is an excessive preoccupation with self-gratification, and in that one can see some sort of moral flaw.
Discussion on Answer
I think the moral flaw in excessive involvement in self-gratification (or addiction) is that if everyone in society were occupied with that, society would collapse.
Maybe it really is an aesthetic or human value and not truly a moral value..
That seems far-fetched — to think society would collapse from too much masturbation.
I think that telling a boy that he must not masturbate is like telling a homosexual person to have relations only with women and not with men. These are such unreasonable decrees that it seems to me they have no validity.
Orit,
I’m not sure. There are halakhic and moral demands that are meant to give direction. If they are difficult to fulfill, that can be taken into account in considerations of punishment (whether he is coerced or nearly coerced). But the very definition of something as prohibited does not necessarily depend on how feasible it is to carry it out.
For example, according to some halakhic decisors, there is an obligation to know the entire Torah. That is an impractical requirement for almost all people (probably for everyone). Does that mean it is wrong to set it as a requirement? At most, it should be taken into account in considerations or arguments regarding punishment.
Rabbi Michael,
Is there any aspect of betrayal in masturbation for a married man or woman?
How can an ordinary person or teenager tell whether this Jewish law is just a matter of general direction or an absolute requirement? It doesn’t seem practical for the average teenager. There is Jewish law, and the commitment the teenager feels toward it is absolute. When he fails to keep the law in a built-in, structural way, that can lead to abandoning the halakhic path — or, worse, to psychological harm to the teenager, who in any case is already in a storm of emotions and hormones at those ages.
I don’t think it is betrayal. Betrayal means relations with someone else.
A teenager cannot always understand this. It is the educator’s role to make that clear to him. Turning it into a taboo and a dreadful act is indeed, in my view, a serious educational failure, and many have already pointed this out.
Why is it immoral to engage excessively in self-gratification or addiction, given the Rabbi’s view that aesthetic values, in his terminology, are not morality? I agree with the intuition that the word “immoral” does fit here, but for me that is because there is a continuum between what the Rabbi calls aesthetic values and ethical values — between social aesthetics (convention) and morality (norm). But according to the Rabbi, who draws a sharp distinction between them, why say that?