Question

Hello,
I read your response to the question concerning the remarks of Yaron London. I understood what you said (I think?).
I think you didn’t look at the full picture—at least not the dimension I’m aiming at. (Assuming I understood your words, and that they present your full perspective on the issue.)
First of all, the question is: what causes you to ignore other people’s feelings, and perhaps even treat them dismissively? True, there is room to criticize them, but is this the way? I don’t run a questions-and-answers website, so maybe I can’t understand how the person running it behaves when his patience runs out. (But I do have the ability to criticize him, by proper means.)
I know the answers you provide are matter-of-fact, and that you are not an emotional therapist. But when you notice that a person is in emotional turmoil (and I very much hope that assumption is correct), shouldn’t it be worthwhile to address him in an appropriate way?
I think that Yaron London’s style of expression was meant to provoke (among sensitive types), and along the way to win affection from those who advocate that same approach (whom he likes in return). He could have avoided voicing his opinion that way; he could have phrased it differently, or he could simply have acted in order to change the given situation.
Even if there is criticism of a person/group, it should be voiced in a proper way (and not one merely pretending to be).
After all, in the end, what is that community’s fault, if it grew up that way? If some of its members never even had doubts about the situation? If human beings who were aware of the situation did not act to change it?
I know that from a cold perspective one can say that he was merely describing his feelings, and that this was the “best” way.
But it is obvious that there is a negative connotation attached to such statements.
It is obvious that his statements can also influence others negatively (= to agree with his views, and live by them in day-to-day life).
In the end, all of us were created against our will; we did not choose what traits to be born with, into what family, or into what society.
I do not know what caused you, over the course of your life, to adopt a method of “absolute rationality” (at least at a level that appears to show insufficient consideration for the feelings of those asking questions).
I do not know whether this method is good. Admittedly, on certain planes it is appropriate to use it, but under supervision. Because in the end, it is not for nothing that some of us use gentle language (and even those who usually avoid it—there are circumstances that would make them think it necessary to use it, and perhaps they would indeed use it).
So what—when we have a clear personal interest, we address a person gently, and when we don’t, we trample his feelings?
In the end, assuming we do not have a mental disorder that causes us to ignore other people’s feelings, why do we have feelings, and is it proper to push them aside? (Or to play on them, for purposes of provocation.)
In short, do you have room for the feelings of the other? If so, why does it seem that you push them aside?
Have you ever, (looking back on your past), agreed with someone about something (after disagreeing with him), without unnecessary hair-splitting, and without manipulation that makes him think, “You weren’t wrong, there was a misunderstanding” / “You weren’t aware of all the data,” etc.? Or in short (again): have you ever admitted your mistakes?
By the way, I oppose Yaron London’s outlook, and I think we should embrace our Haredi brothers, especially at this time.
Thank you very much, honorable Rabbi.