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Q&A: The Value of Marriage

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This is an English translation (via GPT-5.4). Read the original Hebrew version.

The Value of Marriage

Question

Hello Rabbi,
Do you see any value in marriage that is not religious?
Is there any ethical-essential reason (and not a psychological or evolutionary one) for a secular person to get married?
Thank you,
Nathan

Answer

I do not see values at all in a non-religious context. From my perspective, there are no values except within a religious framework.

Discussion on Answer

Nathan (2019-10-31)

So let’s assume we are speaking within a religious framework.
Is marriage and life with a female partner also a moral value beyond its religious value?

Michi (2019-10-31)

I would not define it as a moral value, but rather as a more proper human and social form. It expresses commitment. See my article, “Why Get Married”:
https://mikyab.net/%D7%9B%D7%AA%D7%91%D7%99%D7%9D/%D7%9E%D7%90%D7%9E%D7%A8%D7%99%D7%9D/%D7%A7%D7%95%D7%A4%D7%99%D7%93%D7%95%D7%9F-%D7%95%D7%97%D7%99%D7%95%D7%AA-%D7%90%D7%97%D7%A8%D7%95%D7%AA-%D7%9C%D7%9E%D7%94-%D7%9C%D7%94%D7%AA%D7%97%D7%AA%D7%97%D7%AA%D7%9F1
But of course, such commitment can also be created in other ways.

David (2019-10-31)

“From my perspective, there are no values except within a religious framework” — could you explain? Do you not see morality as a value? What do you mean?

Michi (2019-10-31)

See Notebook Four, vol. 3. There I explained that without God there are no values.

David (2019-10-31)

Ah, that makes sense. It is clear to me that morality presupposes God, but it is also clear to me that there is moral value not only within the religious framework. That is, God expects us to be moral not only within the framework of Jewish law. Fine, it seems we agree.

Michi (2019-10-31)

Outside Jewish law, yes; outside faith / Torah, no.

David (2019-10-31)

Agreed.

Nathan (2019-10-31)

I read the Rabbi’s article.
It turns out I was not precise in my question. I meant to ask about living with a female partner in general, and not specifically about the act of marriage. Do you see moral value in living with a female partner rather than alone, or is that merely an evolutionary / psychological desire that has nothing inherently valuable about it (perhaps it is a means to other values, like having children, but it is not a value in itself)?

Michi (2019-10-31)

In my opinion, there is no moral value in that at all.

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