Question

My husband and I moved into a new apartment after negotiations with the landlords, who were rigid and unwilling to compromise. In light of those negotiations, our attitude toward them was more suspicious, and we decided to make a list of defects in the apartment and send it to the landlady in order to protect ourselves in case she would demand additional payment for them when we move out. The landlady was very hurt by our sending the list; she felt that she had invested a great deal in the condition of the apartment, and that we were only seeing the negative. As a result, the question came up for us whether we acted properly in sending the list in the first place, and more generally we wondered about the price of standing up for ourselves. Would it have been better to take her feelings into account even though that would have reduced our own interest? In other words, both in the contract and in the list there is something legalistic and cold that, on the one hand, distances us from the humanity of the situation, but on the other hand may protect us later on if we do in fact encounter people acting in bad faith. We would be glad to know your opinion about the moral price involved in safeguarding one’s business interest.