Answer

Hello, Ruchama. First of all, I wish you long life and robust health.
As for your question, I have concerns, but it is hard to say that I am afraid. But I have to tell you that in my opinion, my view carries no weight, nor does anyone else’s. Whether I or someone else is afraid or not is not the result of knowledge, because no one has any information about what happens there. We’ll find that out when we get there. Either way, each person should do the best they can according to their understanding, and even if they made a mistake, the Holy One, blessed be He, does not come with excessive demands against His creatures. As for bad deeds that are the result of wrongdoing and not of error, it is advisable to repent, regardless of what will happen up there.
Sorry for the armchair advice: be as strong and optimistic as possible. Fear and depression do not help with anything. And if they are there anyway, it is worth channeling them into positive and beneficial activity (such as repentance).