Q&A: A Big Problem
A Big Problem
Question
Hello, honorable Rabbi,
I have a question that is very difficult for me, and I’m sorry for involving you in this.
I did something bad according to the law (I didn’t hurt anyone, not physically and not in any other way). I recognize that I shouldn’t have done it, and every day I ask the Holy One, blessed be He, for forgiveness for it. The time has come, and in another two weeks I’ll have to go be arrested. I don’t want to cause my daughters and my family suffering by their knowing what I did, and I’m asking to end my life, because only that way will they not be able to know what I did. If I’m not alive at the time of the trial, then they cancel everything. I’m going into surgery tomorrow and I want to ask God to take my soul to Him.
Is this permitted?
Thank you in advance,
Shai
Answer
It is permitted to pray for anything. The question is whether the prayer will be answered. I would add that it is worth thinking again, as calmly as possible, about the situation, and whether this is really the right way out. In any case, I wish you a complete recovery, and that you merit to repent within your family.