Q&A: Lacking Religious Feelings
Lacking Religious Feelings
Question
Hello Rabbi,
Maybe this is a question for a psychologist or for ethicists, but I’ll try my luck.
I would define myself as a believer by force of reason.
That is, based on intellectual understanding, I believe in synethetics, in the existence of God, in the Revelation at Mount Sinai, and in Judaism (and the overwhelming majority of that is thanks to you…).
Divine providence, prayer, reward and punishment, and the like — not at the moment.
My question is דווקא about the emotional side.
When I engage with and think about these topics, then I also feel that these things are true.
I have a clear sense (as much as possible, and depending on the topic) that the answer I’ve arrived at is the most reasonable one, and therefore the most rational one for me to adopt.
And yet, in day-to-day life when I keep the commandments, I don’t feel that same clarity.
Not that I understand things differently; I just don’t feel that I’m doing *the right thing*, that same feeling that accompanies me when I’m dealing with the fundamentals.
Similarly, when I casually ask myself during the day, ‘Do I believe in God?’ or ‘Do I believe in the Jewish narrative?’ I don’t feel certainty in the answer the way I do when I’m deeply engaged in these questions and investing time and thought in them. It’s as if the answer doesn’t reside with me permanently, and I have to make an effort each time to ‘convince’ myself and discover what I really think.
Maybe you could say that I haven’t developed an emotional intuition for the things I believe in.
And if you ask why I want to experience such a feeling, the answer is that it would make it much easier for me to live a lifestyle that I believe is correct. I relate to this feeling as a means and not as an end.
(This lack of feeling bothers me more when it comes to keeping the commandments.)
Do you have any advice for me?
Answer
Hello Natan.
I can identify with your feelings. I also feel this way from time to time. But unfortunately I have no advice other than internalizing the value of doing the truth because it is true (Maimonides, beginning of chapter 10 of the Laws of Repentance).
Discussion on Answer
Shai,
Let me just clarify that I hold that the exclusive tool for deciding ideological questions is reason.
The feeling I’m looking for is a powerful tool to help me act according to the conclusions of reason, not to replace it.
So either way, I won’t be able to give up philosophy.
In any case, there is truth in what you say, and apparently I need to look in other places as well.
What do you mean by existential paths to religion? (I’d also be happy for practical examples… reading books? meditations?)
Religious existentialism can be found in the books of Martin Buber, Emmanuel Levinas, Abraham Heschel, and Rabbi Soloveitchik.
The point is that existentialism is not supposed to be a substitute for philosophical thinking, but the internalization of beliefs.
For example: a person may decide philosophically that there is a God who commands morality, and on that basis decide that he must do act x. By contrast, the existentialist starts from a different point of departure: he feels that morality is the meaning of his life, and therefore he will seek what the moral act is.
In other words: the existentialist is a poet.
Natan, how did I forget… Hasidic literature is existentialism.
The troubles of a philosopher…
Natan, this may indicate that you need to explore an existential path to religion and not only a philosophical one.
Rabbi Michi is an intellectualist, and intellectual inquiry suits him as a way to decide such matters; that doesn’t suit everyone. A person who has a tendency toward a personal connection to faith needs to work on that part of himself and not rely only on intellectualism.
If the lack of personal connection didn’t bother you, fine, but you’re saying that you’re looking for a personal connection to faith (like most people in Western culture), so maybe you’re not in the right place.