Q&A: Is it reasonable to decide a dress code based on sexual impulses?
Is it reasonable to decide a dress code based on sexual impulses?
Question
I saw an article today about a case in which schoolgirls came wearing very short shorts and were left outside the classroom (https://m.ynet.co.il/Articles/5732740), and as usual the issue came up again: why is it allowed for boys but forbidden for girls? I have two questions.
1. Can a dress code for girls be determined according to the sexual impulses of boys, and is it the same the other way around? It also seems that girls are not aroused by boys to the same extent.
2. The article includes a picture of the students, and I saw that the overwhelming majority of the responses claim that this clothing is proper and modest. What do you think about that?
Answer
I don't accept these disingenuous claims that whatever is permitted for boys is permitted for girls too (as in the protest by the women who work in the Knesset). This is nonsense driven by political correctness with no basis whatsoever.
Incidentally, it's not only a question of the boys' sexual impulses, but also of what counts as respectable dress. There is a connection, because sexual impulses may be related to the definition of respectable clothing, but the impulses are not necessarily the reason. Is a man allowed to show up in a dress to court or to the Knesset? I think quite a few people would accept forbidding that.
Discussion on Answer
Rabbi, in your opinion, are long pants for a woman a violation of the laws of modesty?
A., you understand girls about as well as you understand sexual impulses.
True.
With pants there are two aspects: men's attire and modesty. Women's pants have no problem at all in that respect. And pants that are not too tight have no modesty problem. As for modest unisex clothing, in my opinion that too can be permitted.
Rabbi,
At the Open University there is a lecturer (a man) named Zvi Lahav, who gives lectures (the course "Personality" in psychology) while dressed in a dress with a neckline, with lipstick on his lips, wearing a necklace, etc.
Would it bother you to study with such a lecturer?
If so, how would you phrase an appeal to the university administration? What would you write?
I assume it would bother me, but I don't think I would contact them.
If you were asked to draft a letter to the administration, what arguments would you raise?
I'm completely in favor of them going in short clothes. Shorts on a girl are not parallel to a dress worn by a man. It's clothing that suits her. They're hot, and longer clothing weighs on them. As for sexual desire, it comes and develops from the prohibition itself. "If you saw her, don't fantasize about her"—isn't that a logical contradiction? There are islands where everyone goes around naked. And if you talked to them about the kind of "sexual urge" familiar in our culture, they wouldn't know what you want from them. They look into the eyes, not somewhere else. It's all a matter of culture and habit.