Answer

Not at all a petty question. I can tell you that unlike most of the staff at the Institute for Torah at Bar-Ilan, I went through academic studies, and therefore I understand much better the difficulties the guys have in getting seriously into learning alongside their studies. The fact that you’re asking the question and are troubled by it says that your situation is very good. At least that is something you absolutely must preserve at all costs.

I should say first that I’m definitely not someone to whom everything came easily. I was not an outstanding student, and I struggled quite a bit in my studies. (I also matured late, and I think over the years I improved in academic study and in general.)

I don’t have any special techniques. During my first degree (engineering, Tel Aviv University) I didn’t learn Torah and wasn’t really connected. And still, I did quite a few other things alongside my studies (I took courses in various subjects at the university, coordinated a Bnei Akiva branch, participated in a basketball group, taught in yeshiva high schools, read various books, and more). I did this mainly so as not to lose my human shape, and not to become a slave to my studies. In my view, beyond fear of Heaven and Torah study, it is no less important that a person be his own master and not become enslaved to the constraints within which he operates. That doesn’t mean one shouldn’t try to succeed as much as possible in the track one has chosen. I’m completely in favor of maximal success, but only so long as you meet some goals you have set for yourself in other areas. If it requires “insane effort,” as you put it, it’s not certain that you’re in the right place. Alternatively, it’s not certain that you really need to invest that much.

You have to remember that success in academic studies is not of supreme importance either. You need to know the material, but whether your average will be 95 or 80 is not critical. It doesn’t have a huge effect on what comes next. Except if you want to be accepted to a master’s degree—you do of course need to meet the limitations and admission requirements. You need to get out a bit from the pressure of succeeding at any cost, and also from the fear of failure. So if you feel that you are not meeting the standard you set for yourself, there is room to ease the pressure of the academic studies. Either take fewer courses (and maybe finish one semester later) or do a little less well.
As I wrote, I’m not speaking only about Torah study, but about engaging in things that matter (or matter to you), beyond the day-to-day constraints. That is very important, and it is important to preserve it.

In my opinion this depends a lot on how you feel. If you are satisfied with spiritual goals that are not especially high and that is enough for you, there is nothing wrong with that. Be in suspension during the years of study, and afterward increase the pace. Just note that later on, at work, the pressure is sometimes no less. So this consideration may continue to accompany you later as well. You must not reach retirement having given up all along the way. If that is the situation, I would not compromise already now.

After the first degree I was already in a different place. And here I’ll say that I’m here thanks to my wife. More than once I nearly broke during the advanced degrees, and she pushed me not to give up. It cost me in the level of success and satisfaction in my academic studies, but looking back I do not regret it at all. It is definitely worthwhile to keep at your side a “supervisor,” someone to whom you matter but who has an independent perspective—a spouse or a friend—and to make decisions and set goals together in the spiritual realm, and stick to them. Check from time to time that you are indeed meeting them and what can be improved. I think that the moment you do this seriously, your feeling will improve, even aside from the actual spiritual achievements. The very feeling that you are not giving up and are working on it, and that it matters to you.

To conclude, I always kept before my eyes the perspective I will have when I turn in bed toward the wall before “returning the equipment” (at 120). Will I look at my life and be satisfied with it or not? Will I leave a mark on the world, and have I fulfilled my goals to a reasonable extent? This is an illuminating perspective, and it is worth adopting it once in a while when you examine your path. It takes you out of the ongoing rat race and gives you good perspective and calm in making decisions. There you can examine whether it is really important to get a grade of 95, or whether 85 is enough. What exactly is the difference? But note that on the spiritual side too, if you are progressing and reaching achievements and creating to a reasonable extent, then it isn’t really necessary to be the greatest sage of the generation. More important is “to be Zusya.” I am not in favor of going wild in pursuit of achievements in any direction. Good aspirations are wonderful, but it is important to be realistic and to succeed in all the directions you have chosen, sacred and secular. That matters both on its own merits and in terms of the satisfaction you will feel, which itself radiates onto your life in a very significant way. It’s a rotten feeling to be mediocre in all areas, and it’s hard to live with that.

Wishing you much success, and strength for Torah. Be strong and strengthen yourself, and maintain alertness to both the spiritual and the secular, and under no circumstances give up. This alertness and self-criticism are the most important root, and that you should guard most carefully.