Q&A: Avoiding Physical Contact for Bisexual People
Avoiding Physical Contact for Bisexual People
Question
Hello, Honorable Rabbi,
Are bisexual people (who are attracted to both sexes) obligated to avoid physical contact with everyone?
In addition, does it change when there is more attraction to one sex than to the other?
Answer
With regard to a member of the opposite sex, there is room to view the prohibition on touch as an intrinsic prohibition, but at least regarding a member of the same sex it seems clear that the prohibition derives from the concern about forbidden sexual thoughts. Therefore, the question of whether there is or is not a prohibition depends on whether this arouses forbidden sexual thoughts in us or not.
Discussion on Answer
If that is the definition of the prohibition, then yes. Although I tend toward the view that this is not the definition (which is why touch that is not affectionate is permitted).
I no longer remember, but perhaps I assumed that the question was about contact that arouses sexual thoughts. Contact that does not arouse sexual thoughts is, in my opinion, permitted between them, as I wrote here.
But there is another difference, because in the question here you didn’t focus me on a situation in which the other person is also inclined toward you as well (if you are bisexual then there is not necessarily symmetry). When there is symmetry, there is more reason to be stringent, because even if you do not have sexual thoughts, perhaps the other person does.
Interesting answer, thank you very much! I’ll expand the question as well;
If the prohibition on touch with members of the opposite sex is an intrinsic prohibition, does the prohibition on touch (with respect to members of the opposite sex) also apply to gay men?
In addition, I remember that I asked you in the past whether the prohibition on touch with members of the same sex applies to gay men, and you answered me that, simply speaking, yes. Why didn’t you make this distinction in the case of gay men? (That only if the contact causes sexual thoughts is it prohibited.)