Q&A: About Separate/Mixed Beaches
About Separate/Mixed Beaches
Question
Hello, Rabbi,
Every summer we, as a believing family that keeps the commandments (as much as possible), run into the following issue:
The beach and the pool.
There were years when we made sure to go to separate beaches and pools.
There were years when we went to mixed beaches and pools.
From the standpoint of the family experience, there is no comparison. It is much more convenient and pleasant for the whole family to be together.
When we go to separate beaches or pools, it is inconvenient, hard to keep an eye on the children, and so on.
My question is: are we, as a believing public, doomed to avoid family recreation at the beach or pool?
Every beach we go to is either one where people go separately, or we go to an undeclared beach and then don’t go into the water because of the danger, or we go to a beach with a lifeguard but it is mixed…
It is very hard for me that, seemingly, the Land of Israel has such a beautiful and long coastline,
but seemingly it is not intended for religious people, or at least not intended for family recreation…
I would be glad to hear the Rabbi’s thoughts on the subject, since I know that many families either “give in” and go
to mixed beaches and pools, or else they do not spend time together in these places, and then there is no small amount of frustration…
Answer
I don’t know what to tell you. I am doubtful whether there is actually a real halakhic prohibition here, or whether this is simply the normal way people are at the beach, and therefore there is no prohibition there (just as one recites Grace after Meals there in minimal clothing). This of course also depends on the question of whether forbidden thoughts are aroused, and that is something you need to ask yourself. From the standpoint of educating the children as well, one should be concerned that even if such thoughts are not aroused in you, they may be aroused in them in the future, and they will be used to thinking it is permitted to go.
I would recommend (though not require) looking for a more secluded beach (carefully, since there is no lifeguard), or at least a place where there are not crowds but only a few bathers, and then moving a bit farther away; in that situation there is room to be lenient. Or some other kind of recreation (like a trip where one does not really swim but just wades around, and the like).