Q&A: Fasts for Women
Fasts for Women
Question
Hello Rabbi,
In our family it is customary for women not to fast on the four fast days. I never understood this foolish custom, which comes from a chauvinistic view that says women who don’t eat for one day will die, God forbid. So initially I thought this foolish practice should be abolished, but on second thought I said to myself: after all, all the fasts are only a custom, and therefore if in our family they did not observe them, then they have no obligation at all from the outset. So I come before you, wisest of all men, that you should decide who is right.
Answer
I am offended on behalf of humanity. As for your actual question: there is no such thing as a family custom. There is a custom of a community, or of a society, or a people. True, if there were communities that had the custom not to fast and others that did have the custom to fast, then perhaps there would be room within one family for a mixed practice. But to the best of my knowledge, no such custom exists nowadays.
Indeed, I have seen that such customs are mentioned here: https://din.org.il/2019/09/22/%D7%A6%D7%95%D7%9E%D7%95%D7%AA-%D7%A7%D7%9C%D7%99%D7%9D-%D7%9C%D7%A0%D7%A9%D7%99%D7%9D/
https://www.hidabroot.org/question/302313
Discussion on Answer
A. If such a custom exists, it is hard to see any prohibition in following it. Of course, there is no logic in doing something that seems foolish to you.
B. Following the father is not a family. A custom belongs to a community, except that nowadays in many cases it is defined by origin rather than by place.
A. As for my actual question, I didn’t understand what the Rabbi answered me. If, let’s say, in a parallel universe such a custom exists and it is the custom of my community, can I follow the custom even if I am sure it is foolish, because the fasts are fundamentally only a custom, or not?
B. I seem to remember that in the past I read somewhere from the Rabbi that because there are no longer geographic communities and things shifted to community identity based on the father, which in plain Hebrew means a family practice!!! Thanks in advance. Please give humanity a good night from me, along with my sincere apology.