Q&A: Mourning
Mourning
Question
What is the source for not listening to music during the mourning year after the death of a father?
Answer
The prohibition is on rejoicing, not on music. But music that causes joy was forbidden for that reason. I saw in the name of the responsa Dvar Yehoshua that he was lenient about listening to music, but that is not the accepted practice.
Discussion on Answer
Is it permitted to watch comedy, for example? Meaning, do you really have to stop the course of life from the joyful parts that make it up, or is the intent only to forbid unusual celebratory events, and if so we would then permit music?
Yes, you need not to rejoice. What is so surprising about that?
To put life on hold for two years (a year for a father and a year for a mother) sounds absurd. Judaism requires not even going to a friendly meal gathering and forbids exchanging greetings—how can a person live without the vital and joyful parts of life? The common view of mourning is to continue life while giving space for points of remembrance and limited restrictions, but that is not how it is in Judaism. Why?
I have no idea.
But your assumptions are far from self-evident. There is also value in not just moving on after a parent’s death, and in internalizing the bond with them.
Thank you very much