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Q&A: Modesty

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This is an English translation (via GPT-5.4). Read the original Hebrew version.

Modesty

Question

When I speak with women in everyday situations, like a cashier or an aunt who comes to visit, etc., and they are dressed immodestly, is it permitted to speak with them while looking at them out of politeness, or even in general? What exactly is the prohibition—specifically if it causes me improper thoughts at that moment, or are there standards that apply to everyone? And is there a difference between gazing attentively and merely seeing casually?

Answer

In principle, looking in a way that leads to improper thoughts is forbidden, and it makes no difference whether this is deliberate gazing or merely casual seeing (unless it cannot be avoided, or it happens as part of your natural way of conducting yourself, which you are not required to change). But politeness has value, and in my opinion it is not proper to behave in a hurtful way.

Discussion on Answer

Zvi (2023-09-12)

For the sake of politeness, is it permitted to shake hands? Or to kiss her (in the case of an aunt)?

Michi (2023-09-12)

In my opinion, yes.

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