Question

Hi Rabbi, I’m interested in acquiring a Torah education in a self-taught way, and I wanted to know which books the Rabbi would recommend as essential, and in what order the Rabbi recommends learning them. I should note that I come from a religious background and have only a minimal Torah education, but I never really invested in this area beyond what was required. דווקא now, as a formerly religious person, I find myself outside the Torah discourse, with the conclusions of Torah discussion being imposed on me paternalistically, in the spirit of “leave it to the experts,” and since I don’t have the tools to challenge those conclusions, I want to change that situation and not let others think for me—in the spirit of “dare to know.” Beyond that, if the religious people were right, I’d prefer to go to hell with my eyes open rather than be thrown confused into the seventh circle like some Tommy Lapid.
Many thanks in advance, and with great appreciation.