Q&A: On the "Cruelty" of the One Who Reconciles
On the "Cruelty" of the One Who Reconciles
Question
May your final sealing be for good, Your Honor the Rabbi.
I would like to ask: a person who caused me a great deal of anguish has come these days to ask forgiveness, and not only that, he came armed with the quotation:
It is forbidden for a person to be cruel and refuse to be reconciled; rather, he should be easy to appease, etc.
First, I would be glad to know whether I am obligated to forgive him according to Jewish law.
Second, the well-known feeling is: the forgiveness that is necessary is impossible, and the forgiveness that is possible is unnecessary.
If one person caused another pain, why is the language so sharp specifically about the one who forgives — "forbidden," "cruel," "his prayer is not heard," and so on?
I would appreciate your response.
A good year.
Answer
One should try to forgive, unless in your opinion he has not genuinely turned from his ways. The question of who is called cruel, and when, depends on the circumstances, and it is not correct to take these statements in an all-encompassing way.