A question about the political use and spreading of hatred in the name of bereavement

Let's assume that a certain family that lost one of its members in an event where the person was killed knew in advance that it was doubtful that he would return alive.
And left.
And died.
They come to comfort as commanded, and some family members spread poison and gratuitous hatred of the lowest order, and of course in the name of bereavement.
 
The Lord said, "They are holy, they are permitted."
Is that true?
 
Shouldn't we put the brakes on gratuitous hatred and poison?
What's more, they use the name of the person who was killed, who according to the testimonies was not at all such an idiot and knew very well why and in whose name he was going, and for what purpose he was going. And he was not at all a man spreading poison and gratuitous hatred.
 
This probably bothers a lot of people.
Where does the border cross?