Direct me to the main point.

Dear Rabbi Michael.
I heard you a few times and read a little, and I said to myself: omg if there is anyone in the world – this is the man!

Now, I know you are trying to make great revolutions and change worlds, but every person is a world. And my world is black with doubts and lack of clarity. It is difficult for me to read much or learn in any way, because my concentration is not that great, and I also get tangled up with the abstract definitions of intellectuals. I also live in a Haredi culture that does not allow for much mental flexibility.
Along with all these shortcomings, a great desire for truth burns. I would rather die than live in ignorance within the circles of habit and prejudice.
So what I'm asking you for is direction, what should I read, or hear, but more concisely, in order to know what can be known (I know that there will always remain annoying shadows of doubt).
I believe more or less in God. The only question is all of Judaism, and its laws.
Because it seems like a lot of people have invented a lot of things, and I don't find the connection between this whole big bookcase and a God who seems to be mainly concerned with physics and biology, and is less interested in rules of conduct, strict or not.
So, as I said, Rabbi Michael, my soul is in my question. And if you are interested in changing the world, whoever saves one soul is as if there is an entire world.

(Of course, if there are other members on this platform who can help with the kind of guidance I've asked for, I'd be grateful, because I'm already choking from too much and everything I reach out to grab turns out to be empty, leaving me to drown)